30+ Ways to Foster Independence in Your Kids

A few months ago, I posted on Instagram about some of the ways we foster independence in our kids.

It started a great conversation and other parents chimed in with the ways they foster independence with their kids!

Here are some ideas!

TIPS ON HOW TO FOSTER INDEPENDENCE

1. Send your child into the grocery store with a list while you wait in the car! My kids love doing this!
2. Let them shop for their own school supplies. Give them a list and either send them solo or go with them but let them be responsible for finding everything on the list (it’s great practice asking store employees for help too!)
3. Walk to school by themselves. This is a good starting point for independence because there are usually tons of other families and kids around too!
4. Have them navigate the airport. My 11 year old loves getting us from the car to the counter to security and then to our gate!
5. Have them fly solo. My girls start traveling as unaccompanied minors at age 7 to go to Grancie Camp and they love it so much!
6. Ride city transit alone or with friends. Start with some practice with an adult and then let them go free!
7. Take the bus home from school alone with no tracking or texting. Set up a plan beforehand together for what to do if they get lost
8. Ride a bike to a friend’s house or to an activity. Look at your schedule and see what they could reasonably get themselves to – piano lessons or soccer practice or something else. My 13 year old loves going to the library solo so she doesn’t have to wait for me to go pick up her books!
9. Order their own food at restaurants. Whether this is talking to the waiter at your table or ordering at the counter, this is a great life skill!
10. Send them out to eat entirely on their own at 13. I love this idea! This parent said her child walks up to 1.5 miles to the restaurant of their choice and handles everything themselves. What a rush!
11. Have them tip in cash. This is a great way to learn when to tip and how much is appropriate.
12. Do an “ice cream challenge.” Pick a local business and send your child in to order and pay on their own while you wait outside.
13. Make their own appointments for the dentist or a hair cut. Bonus points if you send them alone!
14. Have them email their teachers themselves about absences or missed work. You already finished 7th grade – they can manage their time in 7th grade!
15. Give them responsibility for introducing themselves (and their parents) to teachers at back-to-school night. You can practice this one at home first so they’re not on the spot!
16. Call the front desk at a hotel. Forget a toothbrush? Need an extra pillow? This is a great time to practice independence and solve this yourself!
17. Help them set up their own bank account. Let them be responsible for both fun purchases and bigger ones (our family loves Crew for this!)
18. Make them in charge of dinner one night a week. My older girls (13 and 16) are each making dinner once a week right now which is wildly helpful to me in my busiest. season of work!
19. Have them pack their own lunches. This is a task you can absolutely pass off to your children!
20. Get a job! Whether it’s starting their own little business like mowing lawns or getting a job at a business, this is such a great way to learn independence. (I have a whole post about teen jobs, if you need ideas.)
21. Let them hang out with friends unsupervised. Allow them to go to an ice cream shop, a coffee shop, the movies, or the library!
22. Walk with a group of neighborhood kids somewhere together. My 9 and 11 year olds LOVE doing this with neighborhood friends! (In fact, as I write this post, they’re doing exactly this).
23. Visit the community pool solo or with friends once they hit a certain age.
24. Run a lemonade stand with a friend. This is a great way to make some money (independence!) as well as learn lots of good skills.
25. Send them to sleepaway camp. One mom described this as one of the most powerful independence and confidence builders for her kids ever!
26. Go to a summer movie at a local theatre. One mom said she works right next door to the theatre and the siblings handle it all by themselves, from buying tickets, getting snacks and finding their seats.
27. Have them dress themselves. This can start as young as around 3 years old! And unless there is a strict dress code where you’re going, don’t micromanage their choices.
28. Pass of their laundry to them. By age 7-8 years old most kids can do their laundry fully from start to finish – they’ll likely just need a few times doing it with help to know what it involves!
29. Give them ownership of their homework. My friend Ralphie says “you can’t care more than they do.” If you care the most about homework being done, they’ll almost certainly let you take over the ownership.
30. Teach them to safely use matches or manage fire. Bonus that curiosity is handled openly instead of in secret.
31. Wrap gifts for holidays and birthdays. You might handle the buying of the gifts, but they can wrap and deliver them!
32. Hand out their own birthday invitations. Even better if they help write or design them!
33. Leave them home alone for short periods of time. Starting around 9-10 years old give them the chance to be home alone while you run a quick errand or go for a walk around the block.
34. Ask them to help plan a family vacation. I love seeing what things my kids are excited about when we visit a new place (plus they tend to be way more bought in to the trip!)

What would you add? How are you helping your kids develop independence?

I’d love to hear!

If you liked this post about how to foster independence in your kids, you might also like these other posts:

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• Why we like Crew Banking for our Kids more than Greenlight
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