What to Do On Your Birthday: 20+ Ways to Celebrate as an Adult
This month is my birthday so it seems like the right time to share about what to do on your birthday as a grown-up.
One of the things my mom has said many times about being a mother is that you have to make your own sunshine.
Nobody else (certainly not your child) is going to applaud you for doing the laundry or keeping the mortgage paid or vacuuming out the car, and so your job is to make your life happy.
And there’s no time that this is more true than on your birthday once you’re a grown-up.
Probably no one is bringing cupcakes for the whole class or even really knows it’s happening.
If you want your birthday to feel special and fun, you’re most likely going to need to be the one who figures out what to do on your birthday so it gets celebrated the way you want it to.
What to do on your birthday – 20+ ideas
- Have a lunch with friends. This is one of my favorite things to do for adult birthday celebrations. I had two groups of friends in Arizona that I did this with. With one, we had birthday lunches at one of our houses with everyone except the birthday girl bringing part of the meal (usually salad, bread, cake, and drinks). The other group always went out for lunch and we’d pick a new casual lunch place each time. This past year on my birthday, about six weeks after we’d moved, almost all of my friends from that group sent me a text telling me they wished we were going out to lunch to celebrate and it made me feel so great.
- Pick a birthday treat. I never get a pedicure but it’s one of my favorite things on earth, so every year, either on my birthday or the weekend just before or after, I leave all the girls home with Bart and head out for an hour or two and get my nails done (I also always use the birthday money I get from my grandparents for this – otherwise, it’s so easy as an adult for birthday money to just disappear into the vortex of groceries, water bills, or babysitters). If a pedicure isn’t for you, choose something that does feel like a special treat for you, whether that’s a massage or a hair cut or a solo movie (one of my favorite treats ever).
- Decide on a birthday cake strategy. I love to bake, so it’s fun for me to choose a recipe without considering anyone else’s taste but my own and spend a little time alone in the kitchen making it. But if baking isn’t your thing, choose a fancy cake at a local bakery (or just at the grocery store!). Or choose a different special dessert if you don’t love cake. My birthday is just a few weeks after our wedding anniversary, and the first year we were married, Bart’s parents invited us over for a birthday dessert and when we arrived I discovered that my mother-in-law had asked Bart about my favorite cake flavors and when he’d told her that I’m not actually the world’s biggest cake fan but I AM the world’s biggest cookie fan, she’d make chocolate chip cookies with vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce instead. That was nearly 14 years ago, and I still get a little choked up about how nice that was.
- Decorate for your birthday. Look, I’m not a Pinterest person when it comes to decorating. But a few balloons tied to the chandelier or a banner across the dining room or fresh flowers in the kitchen go a long way toward making it feel like a real celebration. And your birthday SHOULD feel like a celebration!
- Do something for someone else. If you feel weird asking other people to celebrate your birthday, do something for someone else instead. Pick up a handful of fancy chocolate bars or copies of a favorite book or a small bouquet of flowers and take them around to some of your friends with a note telling them that the best way you can think of to celebrate your birthday is by celebrating the friends that make your life so rich. Or pay for coffee for 2 or 3 people behind you in line or donate books to your child’s school classroom or volunteer at the library or whatever will make you feel awesome on your special day.
- Get outside. I loved the suggestion by one reader to visit a new state park each year for your birthday. But it can be as low key as a quiet walk around your neighborhood!
- Hire a local artist to do a painting class for close friends. One reader said, “everyone paid their own way, and I provided fresh cookies and the artist taught us a fairly simple bouquet painting. I was worried people would cringe about paying their own way, but I heard over and over again about how it was the best party they had been to and they hoped I did it again the following year.”
- Tea party and bouquet potluck. One reader said, “everyone brings a dozen flowers and makes a bouquet to take home.” This is such a fun idea!
- Pick something you really enjoy doing that kids can also do (like pickleball, hiking). If you have kids at home, you may have to adapt your birthday celebrations to make sure they’re kid friendly. Picking something that’s fun for you AND them can be a bit tricky but makes for a fun day for everyone.
- A bookstore crawl. Oh, you KNOW I love this idea! It’s a perfect way to visit a favorite bookstore or to hit up a new one!
- Read a good book. You might read plenty, but really live it up for your birthday – grab a cozy blanket and a great drink or fun snack and set aside some time to really soak up your book!
- Eat comfort kid foods. Poptarts? Cheetos? Mac and cheese? Tomato soup? Whatever your favorite foods were as a kid, this is the time to bring them all back!
- Host a cocktail/mocktail masquerade. If you love a good party with costumes, this is a fun and fancy way to do it!
- Have a lunch date with your partner. Bart and I do this almost every year for Valentine’s Day and going out to eat in the middle of the day feels so luxurious. Bonus points that lunch is often less busy AND less expensive!
- Something fun and silly with friends (i.e. adult spelling bee)
- Getting more expensive food than you normally would. If you generally don’t order a fun drink or get an appetizer or order dessert, this is your moment. Or if you’re eating at home, pick up a fun beverage or a fancy cheese or something else you normally would skip because of the price tag.
- Have some alone time. I love alone time (and I REALLY love being home alone). Hire a babysitter, have your partner take the kids, or swap with a friend so you can enjoy your birthday alone!
- Take the day off work. If you work full-time and your birthday falls on a weekday, it’s a perfect day to use your PTO and feel like you can celebrate all day long!
- Get out on the water. Lots of people recommended going to the beach or paddleboarding or floating a river. Those are all such fun ways to celebrate a birthday!
- Go out to eat for all three meals. This is a fun one – even if you’re staying home, eating out for all three meals feels like you’re on vacation!
- See a play at a theatre. I love live theater – if it’s your birthday, it’s the perfect time to splurge for a treat or snack during intermission too!
- Do something adventurous. This is a popular one – go cliff jumping, skydiving, or paragliding! (I don’t think I’m adventurous enough for this!).
- Host a fiesta where everyone brings a different type of salsa. We actually just did this for a friend’s birthday earlier this year and it was delightful!
- Get the Barbie cake you always wanted. This one made me laugh – if you never got the Barbie cake of your dreams while you were a child, now is the moment to make that dream come true!
- Go on a trip. I’m all for this plan! It can be a big international trip or a quick staycation but a little time away is a great way to celebrate a birthday.
- Host a Favorite Things party with friends. A favorite things party doesn’t have to wait until the holidays – a birthday is a perfect time to do it plus EVERYONE goes home with gifts! If you’re new to favorite things parties, I have a post about them here.
I’d love to hear how you celebrate your own birthday – do you go big or do you pretend it’s not your birthday or something in between?
If you liked this post about what to do on your birthday as an adult, you might also like these other posts:
- How to Become a Reader as an Adult
- Our Favorite Birthday Traditions
- 30+ Hobbies for Adults That Recharge
Photos by Heather Mildenstein
I LOVE celebrating any birthday, including mine. My husband jokes that he can never do much because I always plan them all 😉 My “cake” tradition is having cheesecake with fresh raspberries (so easy that my husband can usually do that every year). I always put our banner up and a few balloons and get fresh flowers too. Every year I change my mind about whether I want a meal with friends, a solo date meal, or a games night with our favourite couples at the house and I LOVE it. Depends on the stage of life we’re in year by year. My husband takes care of the kids whatever weekend is closest to my birthday and I spend a few hours on my own cooking whatever I fancy having in the kitchen. I love cooking (when I have the time) so it’s SUCH a treat to not have my toddler and baby around wanting my attention.
Well this is super fun because today is MY birthday so I’m going to pretend this post was for me. I like when my birthday’s on a work day because I usually bring a fancy cake I’ve baked into work and celebrate with my work friends. I love these ideas!
Happy Birthday!!
What a great idea to do something special for someone else. That really would make the day happy!
My birthday is the biggest deal to me. I normally let everyone else get what they want (I’m an enneagram
9 after all!), but on my birthday, I get to choose everything and I LOVE it because I’ve given myself advance permission to be selfish. I choose what we eat, where we go, all the things. We have tiramisu and I stop my ears to the complaints from my children that the cake tastes like coffee. La la la la I am in my happy place. Oh and we all wear party hats but I get the sparkly one! When we lived in a place with better weather, I also went out on a hike for my birthday every year. There are so many fun ways to observe as an adult, and it brings me so much joy every year! My birthday is on Monday, and this year all I wanted was to visit my mom back home. So I’m flying out tomorrow for the weekend. We are gonna get a pedicure, see a musical, eat all the tiramisu in town, and I’m going to race a half marathon. I’m so excited!!
You are doing it RIGHT! This is so fun!
Ah, fun ideas! We live by a Marriott Resort, and I spent a few birthdays taking yoga, swimming,and getting a spa treat!
I’ve thrown a couple of parties for myself with my close group of friends. One year we had a little buffet of all my favorite party foods and then played my favorite games and I passed out favor bags. I also did a tea party with that same group a few years later. We played old maid with some Jane Austen cards I made, had tea food, decorated Easter hats and watched Austenland. Once I got over myself and decided to do my birthday the way I want, it’s been so much fun to have birthdays again!!
My birthday was last weekend, and I was thinking about how to celebrate your birthday when you are an adult and don’t have the time/means to *actually* celebrate (see: 2.75yo and nursing 3mo baby). These are great suggestions!
One idea I might do next year is to reserve a small amount of money (say, 50 bucks) specifically for small pleasures/presents for myself for the days surrounding my birthday. A new bottle of nail polish, a way overpriced Starbucks drink, a magazine or a new book, some small decorative item that serves no actual purpose in my home – all can be acquired for less than 10 dollars, and taken together can make a day feel quite festive!
(This idea was me trying to justify buying 10 cute but clearly unnecessary ceramic bowls for 10 dollars at Costco the day before my birthday, for the record)
Another trick that might be hard to pull off on purpose, but that I’ve done accidentally the last two years in a row: pre-order something online that will be delivered around your birthday. Last year it was some newly released fabric; this year the new Gretchen Rubin and Lucy Knisley books!
My birthday is in July, which, in my opinion, is the best time of year to have a birthday. I get to pick my cake (and also make it) and always want some time to read (alone, no kids around!) and sleep in while my husband takes the kids. He’s usually off work for my birthday so we can do something fun as a family like a bike ride downtown. I do really like the idea of a rotating friends lunch for bdays! How fun!
I don’t do much now that I’m an adult but when I was a kid/teenager the thing was getting to choose a place to eat out. My favorite birthday was the year my dad let me choose each course from a different restaurant because I couldn’t decide where I wanted to go! Cheese fries from Outback, salad and breadsticks from the Olive Garden, entree from a local steakhouse, and dessert also from the Olive Garden. It was so fun as a teenager, I think it was the year I turned 13!
I LOVE birthdays but no one ever remembers mine so I just started planning things exactly like you listed. But the last several years I’ve decided that hosting our monthly bookclub the month of my birthday is the way to go. Instant party with yummy food, good friends and meaningful conversation!
I didn’t realize how much I loved birthdays until I was on my mission. On Christmas, I was happy and not homesick at all, but when my birthday rolled around, I was SO sad and lonely -I burst into tears when my mission president and his wife called to sing happy birthday. Ha! 10 years later, I’m learning and figuring out how to celebrate my birthday in a way that makes me feel happy and loved but not selfish. These are awesome suggestions! Thank you!
This is such a fun post. Thanks for sharing! Oh my, this is always been a struggle and I’m usually left feeling sad on birthday because it seems like I don’t do what I want and I often wait around for others to do something for me. This is so good! I like the idea of doing something for someone else.