Q & A
Because I care, here are some baby/pregnancy questions that I thought I’d answer (also, today the snowstorm that has been blasting DC all weekend has turned its attention toward Boston and school let out at noon today, so I have some time. Tomorrow is predicted to be a snow day).
Getting pregnant has not changed the basic way I function; namely, approximately ten minutes after I took the pregnancy test and it came up positive, I walked down to the parking lot and tossed the test and the box into the dumpster. (No picture was taken of the test either).
Tomorrow, I’ll be eighteen weeks along, so yes, we kept it a secret for a long time. I didn’t really intend to keep it secret for that long, but when we went in at 11 weeks, they didn’t even try to find a heartbeat, so I wanted to wait until we’d actually heard one which didn’t happen until the 16 week mark.
And, and in all honesty, most major announcements are very easy for me to keep secret. I am horribly awkward at making announcements like that, and it’s much easier for me just to say nothing. The few people I did tell before last week made my heart pound and I wanted to throw up. Yes, I really am that socially awkward.
Now that I’m nearly half-way along, I feel fine. I did have about five lousy weeks between Thanksgiving and New Years, but even that wasn’t horrible and when I think about what people like Kayla and Kristi go through, I have no room to talk at all. Happily, Bart was out of town for much of it, and I could just eat cereal three times a day and go to bed early without feeling bad.
I’m just barely starting to show, but more in a “hmm, a few too many Valentine’s candies?” kind of way, rather than a “whoa, hello, baby” sort of way. And even so, I don’t think anyone would even think to ask yet, which is nice, because I have many months of school to go where I need to continue wearing dress clothing. I know many first-time moms are anxious to start showing, but I’ll take all the time I can get still wearing my regular stuff.
Merrick and I are due fairly close together – in fact, she’s 3 months to the day ahead of me. But that is happy coincidence, not the result of any kind of coordination. A few people have asked if I mind that she’s having the first grandbaby, when I’m the oldest, but frankly, I feel nothing but relief that she’s first; I am happy to not have the (all-in-my-head, I’m sure) pressure of being the very first, and I was glad our announcement was a little more low-key due to not being the first of its kind. Also, Merrick has been delightfully excited for us, rather than annoyed that we’re sharing in her spotlight (or if she has felt that way, she’s been insanely good at covering it up).
We do plan to find out the sex of the baby, and we’ve talked extensively about names for the last four and a half years. Happily, we both like the same kinds of names, although actual names themselves are far more difficult to settle on. I refuse to consider anything that has been in the top 1000 names in the Social Security database for the last 100 years, which makes things tricky, and Bart won’t agree to any names that begin with the same letter as our last name (which is tragic, since I have not one, but TWO fabulous heartbreakingly awesome names that start with that letter that got an immediate kibosh). I won’t, however, be using any of our kids names on the blog. But you can rest assured that none of our children will be named “Bart” or “Janssen,” because I do not believe in naming children after your own self.
And the question that amused me the most: “Was this planned?” Yes. But even if it wasn’t, I would never tell you so. But seriously, we’ve been married for close to five years, I’m 24 and Bart is almost 30, we’ve both completed master’s degrees, and we have stable jobs. It’s not like we’re both 18 and just got back from our honeymoon. I wonder if this question is just because I have not alluded to planning to get pregnant at all either online or in person.
This is very long. I am not blessed with the gift of brevity.
I still struggle with not getting (very) upset anytime I hear someone about to name their baby one of my favorite (girl) baby names. They are not all that common (or at least they weren't when I was 12 and discovered them) and I can't stand the idea of them hitting the top 100 list any time soon. Sigh. I have a feeling one of them might and it about breaks my heart. Good luck!
I wonder since you have such a youthful appearance if people who don't know you will look at you when your belly begins to swell and feel sorry for the poor little teenager who is pregnant.
This is a great post. Every pregnancy, woman, and family are different, so I hope you guys just enjoy *your* journey and love every minute of it!
P.S. The "was it planned?" question has to be one of my favorite where-did-your-social-graces-go of all time. Like you said, even if it wasn't, that isn't news for general consumption! 🙂
I'm with you with the whole "can't be in the SS top 1000 names for the past 100 years" thing. trying to convert tyler is another thing…
Sure to be a beautiful baby! Congratulations!
Boy or girl… Your kid has got the genes to be one seriously good looking individual. Congratulations to you and Bart!
I would not mind a bit if there were fun baby posts smattered in amongst the reading posts!
I still say congratulations!
I think that if I got pregnant (and I'm so far away from that happening right now) I would wait to tell, like you. Just for superstition tho.
And good luck with the names!
Congrats! I love the way you announced it!! My only thought on baby names is that I believe you should name your kiddo the name you are ACTUALLY planning to call him/her! My husband's legal name is not his actual name he is known by to everyone, including the very people who chose his name!!! Confused?? Well, many are. Especially banks, title companies, etc. It has also been a bit of a pain owning your own business when clients prefer to write checks to the person instead of the company! Anyway, that's my thought!
I think we should tell people we coordinated these babies. Why, I don't know. Just makes us sound cool.
Also, not one bit annoyed at sharing the spotlight. I am so freaking excited we're both having babies — incase you didn't already know.
p.s. Why would you ever keep your pregnancy test? That's disgusting.
I'm so happy for you!!! CONGRATULATIONS.
And CUTEST way to announce a pregnancy (the card) love that!
We are the same way with our name, which we finally decided upon! (We are keeping it hush hush until he arrives). We actually looked at the top 100 boy names and nixed them first 🙂 Although the middle name is popular, it is also a family name.
One of my pet peeves is that people ask, "Was it planned?" Ummm……..is that your business? I have had some of my students ask, but they are in high school I can cut them some slack. But grown adults? It's just rude.
Janssen, exciting and I'm glad you went public since I have a hard time keeping a secret like this. Pregnancy was always hard on me. I gained 5 to 10 lbs. for each kid. In fact, I'm still in my second trimester. Hope you're enjoying the snow.
I too feel the need to keep all of our potential names secret. It is really hard to find a name that 1) isn't popular–and I mean isn't in the top 600 or so for the past 20 odd years and 2) sounds good with our last name, which is short. The last thing I need is people using it or telling me their opinions on the matter.
Also, I am tired of people asking me if we had decided on a name. I have told family and friends a billion times that we are going to have a short list of names that we take with us to the hospital and then decide when we see the baby. However, that doesn't stop them from asking every. single. time. if we have "the one" name picked out. *sigh.*
Oh, how you answered all the questions of my heart.
Okay, not all of them…but all of the ones that were conceived (snicker) upon reading the post with the "due date" card.
Thank you.
i am so with you on the no names in the top 1000 thing. i double checked every name we picked. 🙂 i happen to love the whole double initial thing (hello, holly hoffman and sonnet spears), but i totally agree with not naming your kids after yourself. that bugs me to no end. i'm sure your name will be awesome! i can't wait to hear…
Congrats! One of my friends hates sharing the baby names because people are so vocal in their opinions on the name. She always chooses wonderful names, as I'm sure you and Bart will do.
Names are so much fun!
We were of the same mind as you…no popular names in the SS top names list. But then for some reason, we came across the name "Abby" and LOVED the sound of it. Even though it's been solidly in the top TEN list for a while. Oh well.
The name suits her, anyway. 🙂