Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Did you believe in Santa Claus?
I never did; it just wasn’t part of our family traditions, since my parents didn’t push the Santa story. I don’t remember them ever specifically saying there was no Santa, but they never ever told us he was real or even suggested that he might be. It was really kind of a non-issue – I knew Santa Claus was a myth some families did when their kids were little, but our family wasn’t one of them.
We did do some of the Santa traditions, even if we all openly acknowledged that there was no actual Santa. For years, my dad would put out little black paper footprints leading from the fireplace to the tree, and we occasionally got gifts marked as “From Santa.” But those gifts were always something completely non-thrilling like a three-pack of underwear or new white gym socks. Santa got no credit for big gifts; that was all from my parents.
We also usually put out cookies for Santa (no milk, since we only ever had powdered milk and not even a make-believe man would drink that gross stuff). One year, a neighbor gave each of us three girls a giant plastic bear filled with frosted animal cookies and we soon grew sick of them. On Christmas Eve, we each got a plate and dumped the remaining cookies on them and set them out for Santa (each plate must have had at least a hundred little cookies). I was never so relieved to see an empty plate the next morning.
I do remember specifically that my parents warned us that most other kids did believe in Santa and that were not to tell other kids that Santa wasn’t real. I frankly liked the feeling of knowing the truth when other kids were totally buying into the falsehoods, and I’m also glad to have avoided the crushing disappointment so many kids had when they realized Santa wasn’t real. Christmas stayed magical and mysterious to me for years and years, since I never had a moment where I realized all my Christmas fantasies were based on something that was not true.
Bart did believe in Santa Claus for a while until an older cousin said something about it being fake and his aunt, who had overheard, gave his cousin the evil eye. Bart took that as confirmation of the truth of what his cousin had told him.
Anyway, I have no plans to tell our kids that Santa is real (although I too will warn them on punishment of death about bursting other kids’ bubbles); I just have no desire to fib to my kids and then struggle to make them keep believing even when they start to realize that “hmm, this makes absolutely zero sense at all.” And I don’t want them heartbroken when they realize Santa is not real and can’t understand why I insisted for years that he was.
Am I a total cold-hearted, Christmas-ruining monster? You decide.
Word verification is dogicat. How funny!
I really have mixed emotions about this.
One year a man dressed as Santa brought my grandmother a new TV. To this day, no one will own up to buying that TV or to having Santa deliver it. I now have an idea who it might have been, but at the time it was magical – especially for my grandmother, my younger brothers and cousins.
But then, my daughter was terrified of Santa even up into grade school.
I also got tired of explaining why there were fake Santas everywhere.
Santa, St. Nick, Father Christmas, (whichever name you use)was a symbol or name associated with “giving” to the poor or those who had been good during the year. Somewhere along the way this was changed to “getting”.
Truly, the important thing is that Christmas is the time to celebrate the birth of Jesus (with the spirit of giving if you wish).
You knew all this, of course, and I’m sounding old and jaded. I’m just so sick of the commercialism especially since there was Christmas stuff out in the stores before school started this year.
After all of that, my advise is for you and Bart to come to an agreement and then let your family members know.
Oh, and I’m glad last semester was so enjoyable for you. May you have a very relaxing vacation.
Same deal at our house. We always got presents from Santa but we all knew he didn’t exist. I don’t EVER remember believing in Santa. Although I was the baby so it may have just trickled down to me when the older ones found out. I’ll have to ask my parents about that. I’ve honestly never wondered or cared.
I’m never going to push it. I shake my head at the 10-11 year olds that are just barely finding out… I think they are too old to be living such a lie.
I totally agree. And I just might take up your family’s tradition of giving the not fun gifts from Santa.
My parents liked the little charade. But I’m not sure how much we bought into it as kids. Mom and Dad even had special Santa wrapping paper that only Santa used. Hmmm. I don’t know. My friend’s husband was traumatized when he learned Santa wasn’t real. So they don’t do it. I wouldn’t say I was traumatized, just grew out of it. But it was fun while we were little.
I will not deliberately tell them the truth, but I also refuse to bend over backwards to keep the lie if they start to suspect. I don’t put any real time and energy into it. I remember finding out and I don’t remember being upset at all. I think the realization was gradual and logical enough that it didn’t bug me. It was little things here and there. (“Hmmm, Santa used the same wrapping paper that Mom did last year…”) Hence I don’t fear my children’s “discovery.” I bet we’ll get another year, maybe two at very most with Claire and that will be it. She’s already asked a few questions and the only answer I bother with is that Santa is magical. Since we’ve previously explained that magic isn’t real, it’s only a matter of time ’til she puts 2 and 2 together. I think I believed longer because I was in Japan where there basically was no outside Christmas influence.
As for the exciting gifts coming from Santa vs. Mom and Dad, I’m totally opposite from you. I love getting to spoil my kids at Christmas, but I like Santa getting the credit. That way when my kids want something they don’t need at other times of the year, I have maintained my tightwad image and they aren’t surprised when I bluntly tell them no 🙂
I did believe in Santa when I was little, but I have no memory of “finding out the truth.” I think that we might go the “don’t believe in Santa” route with our kids. You are certainly not cold-hearted. More like practical and realistic. And awesome.
We have been discussing this at our house, too. My dad brought up what I consider one of the best reasons to, what I feel is, lie to your kids. That is that the whole thing is a way to pretend and build imagination which, my child development classes taught, is important in children’s social and cognitive development.
My compromise is to introduce Santa just like other story and pretend characters and treat it like a game. I don’t make a point of telling JJ that Mickey isn’t real or that his stuffed animals really can’t talk or think. In fact, I play along with his imaginations. I plan to do the same with Santa. Its a fun game but not the focus of our Christmas or any elaborate plans to convince JJ of his verity. When/if he does ask if Santa is real I will tell him the truth (and of course make sure he plays along with friends).
I realize this comment is very old, but I grew up with Santa and my imagination is the pits. In comparison, we haven’t done Santa with our children(ages 9-15), and their imagination and creativity amazes me. So, just a note that Santa isn’t necessarily an important factor for cultivating that. There are so many opportunities for creativity and imagination throughout the year. 🙂
This is the same issue that I have been struggling with. I did believe in Santa, but though I don’t remember being crushed, I don’t think I really cared about him much either.
I’m glad to hear that you had a positive experience not believing in Santa, because I think that’s the route we will end up going. (Especially seeing as Ella is 3 1/2 and doesn’t know about him yet…)
Thanks for your honest evaluation, I don’t think you’re cold-hearted at all.
Oh my goodness! I was totally mocked by my fellow missionaries when I told them I would not lie to my children about Santa. I’m so glad others share my same feelings. Your parents are amazing!!
My parents did a good job of letting us believe but never really feeding the lie much. We did put out the cookies and all that jazz. And my mom used to kiss us with red lipstick and we always thought it was a kiss from Santa? Weird, huh? But we totally loved it. Why Santa was wearing lipstick, I have no idea. I can’t write about this on my Countdown to Christmas because I found out some of my nieces read my blog and 2 of them still believe in Santa! Anyway if we ever ever questioned my mom would just say, “What do you think?” And if we weren’t ready to give it up we’d say, “I still believe.” And then one year I just said, “I don’t think he’s real” and that was that. Not earth shattering at all. But if my parents had tried to convince me, it would have been harder.
Santa got no credit for big gifts; that was all from my parents.
That’s really funny; my family does exactly the opposite. I think I support your parents’ plan.
Wow Janssen, I am not even sure if we can be friends anymore. You really need to watch the Polar Express…it will make you “believe” 🙂
We will TOTALLY do the whole Santa thing. That’s one of the best parts about Christmas. Chase is soo in to Santa right now. Its so cute. There is NO way I would have the heart to tell him (one day) that Santa isn’t real. I mean its one of the biggest mysteries to kids. I remember “believing” when I was little. However, I don’t remember when I found out he was made-up, so it must not have been too earth shattering. Of course we will focus on Christ during the holidays but Santa will also be a presence in our home. When our children decide to not believe anymore then we will still do “From Santa”stuff with the stockings and the whole nine yards.
I just think that Santa is the whole magical part about the holidays. Chase already is walking around saying “Ho, Ho, Ho!” Its the cutest thing.
Not gonna lie, I think its a little buh-humbug to kabash the whole thing, but thats the way you were raised, so I don’t blame you. Its a big hassle, but A FUN hassle.
Still love you…if we ever finish the last half of Mormon bridge that is.
Love me, inspite of my Santa obsession 🙂
My vote is total cold-hearted, Christmas-ruining monster. J/K But I do think it sounds a little sad not to have ever believed. I loved believing in Santa, and I wasn’t at all traumatized when I found out he wasn’t real. My boys still believe in Santa. Dario Jr. has asked if he is real before, and I say, “What do you think?” So far, he thinks he is. Gabby came to the realization on her own when she realized it was illogical for reindeer to fly. No biggie. She didn’t even mention it until I said something about Santa one time. I love the magical feeling of Santa.
You know, I have never met someone else who grew up like I did–even the whole powdered milk thing!
We didn’t have any mythical creatures or characters around the holidays–no Easter Bunny, no Santa Claus, no Great Pumpkin. We didn’t even have a tooth fairy. My mom used to tell us that, “Santa is a nice fat man who lives at the mall and reminds to to be nice to people at Christmas.” We were also instructed not to tell other children of the fact that he didn’t exist.
Still, I can remember wanting to believe in Santa Claus at least a little bit. It didn’t ruin my Christmases by any means, but we always hoped just a bit that he was real–the idea was so magic, and so many of our friends believed in him.
I’m not sure why my parents decided not to go with the Santa thing. I’ve heard other people’s parents say that they wanted to make sure that, by telling their children all about Santa, and then eventually having them figure out that he wasn’t real, they didn’t get the same reaction to other people that they tell them about who also seem magical–like the Savior and God. They figure it’s bad to start shattering faith in anything, so it’s best not to create faith in something that doesn’t really exists.
My husband disagrees with my upbringing on this point. He was raised with Santa Claus, and feels like our kids would be missing out on Christmas if we didn’t do it. I’m not sure what will happen yet to our kids and their Christmases. This is one of those, “Guess we’ll decide what happens when it gets to be Christmas and they’re old enough to know what’s going on’ things.
My husband and I decided (before we were married) that we aren’t going to teach our kids about Santa. I believe in traditions and Christmas fun and presents and all of that good stuff… but we don’t want to lie (and i don’t want to encourage the commercialism that comes with Santa). So we’re set… but I haven’t had the guts to tell my mom or sisters yet. They will freak out. Seriously. But what can you do? I told a co-worker the other day and he told me I would ruin my children for life. Oh well!
Our nice stuff came from parents too. Also… I remember finding out because, honestly, I got a lump of coal for saying I didn’t believe. Not a lump of coal and other stuff. Just a lump of coal from Santa. From then on even though I didn’t believe, you better believe I said I did!
The traditions, the decorations, the trees, the focus on Christ and the manger scene, seeing family, having time off of school (and work) – it’s all “magical.” I can barely remember ever truly believing in Santa (though I do clearly remember my aunt’s glare at my cousin) because that wasn’t the main exciting part of Christmas for me.
I do like Lisa’s point that Santa is similar to any other made-up character, such as Mickey Mouse, though I want to make sure our kids understand the difference between make-believe and reality. And then, when we watch Miracle on 34th St (the 1994 version with Mara Wilson playing one of the cuter kids in the world), our kids can wonder if we’re the ones who’ve been fooled.
I had my buble bursted at a young age when I saw my parents on the front porch eating the pie they had left out for Santa. I don’t think I was too crushed though.
A much sadder story, however, is about my brother’s friend from college. He believed in Santa, the tooth fairy and the easter bunny as a child. One by one, he found out they were not real. So when he finished his catechism and went through his first communion, he expected them to tell him at the end that Jesus was not real. Now he is atheist.
Hmm… I never really thought about this before. I grew up believing in Santa, and I vividly remember being crushed when my brother said something about how he was with my mom when she bought my Walkman(that I thought I had gotten from Santa). I hated that feeling. I’ve already decided that the kids are going to get the good presents from us and Santa will give the lame stuff. I guess just telling them the truth might be something to consider.
I too don’t really like the idea of lying to kids. Although I think this is a completely personal issue that each person needs to decide.
I think I remember your Mom saying she didn’t want Santa to get credit for the really great gifts!! She wanted that credit!!! Funny!
My kids are totally going to belive in Santa because he is REAL, dang it!!