My favorite way to introduce a new baby to a sibling
With four children, we’ve introduced a new baby to a sibling three different times.
Shortly before Ani – our second child – was born, I heard somewhere a great suggestion about how to make that introduction pleasant and smooth, and we used it every time since then!
If you’re welcoming a new sibling to your family, I hope this will be helpful to you!
My favorite way to introduce a new baby to a sibling
The day after Ani was born, Bart went home to get Ella (my mom was staying with her) and they went on a little date together to buy a present for Ani, plus a little treat for Ella.
Bart texted me when they were on their way into the hospital and I sent Ani to the hospital nursery. When Ella arrived a few minutes later, I was able to give her my full attention and we snuggled for a bit and she told me all about the things she’d done with my mom and showed me her present for Ani.
Then she and Bart went down to the nursery and brought Ani back in her little bassinet and Ella was THRILLED to show me her new little sister and carefully hold her.
It felt a thousand times better to me than Ella coming into the hospital room to find her mom – who had basically just disappeared for a day and a half – snuggling a replacement baby.
I’ve had all my babies in a hospital so, obviously if you’re in a birthing center or at home, things will be a little different. And I know that many hospitals no longer even offer a nursery options (this was the case when my fourth daughter was born), but you could still ask a nurse to take your baby for five minutes or put the baby in a bassinet in the room rather than be holding them.
The main takeaway is that it’s a big ask for a toddler who has been the star of the show for the last year or two or three to show up and be excited about everyone fawning over a new baby. As Ralphie from Simply On Purpose likes to say – how would you feel about your significant other strolling in with their arm around a new wife/husband and expecting you to be enthusiastic about it?
Giving them a little attention and love first thing and letting them be part of bringing the new baby into your family circle helps them realize they haven’t been replaced.
And, of course, it’s much less challenging – I think – for subsequent siblings because they’re much more used to the idea of a sibling already then when you make the transition from one child to two.
And the age of your children matters a lot too – a six or seven year old will understand the idea of a new baby in a whole different way than a toddler will.
How have you introduced a new baby to the siblings? I’d love to hear!
We have a new baby coming next month and I know my 2yo will struggle! I’m sad that bc of COVID my kids can’t visit in the hospital at all 😭 I’m not even sure my husband can leave the hospital once we check in—so she will have to go a long time without mom or dad… and at the end that baby brother we always talk about will suddenly appear with us! Gonna be a wild ride!
I remember the reaction of my oldest when his brother was born — Peter was 6.5 years old. People would ask him if he was excited to have a brother and he replied “well, I just really wanted a dog”.
This is my favorite story about me! When I was born, my brother, Andy, was 3. My mom got him a baby doll and they took care of their babies together, holding, feeding, changing diapers, etc. This gave Andy someone to focus on when my mom was focused on me. They best part of the story is one time he was bored, so my mom said go get your baby. And he came back with me! I was maybe a month or so old and all curled up in a ball as he carefully carried me over our hard wood floors. My mom likes to say her stomach dropped when she turned around and saw him. But she just smiled and said “You got your baby! Why doesn’t mommy help you>” Then she quickly picked me up and the night continued on. 🙂
When I was introduced to my baby brother I was fifteen and Andy was 18, so we didn’t have these issues. Although Andy was a senior in high school and he would come home for lunch every day to feed the baby. So sweet!
That moment of siblings meeting is so special. I actually focused less on the logistics of the meeting and more of welcoming them home (and with my youngest born last year, that actually ended up being the same moment because of Covid and hospital visitation). Because my kids stayed with my parents while I was in the hospital every time, it’s been really important to me that they were at the house first. I wanted them to feel like they got to welcome the baby to our home, rather than coming back from their stay at the grandparents, and somebody else had moved in on their space. I’m lucky that my parents were willing to coordinate that timing with me to make sure when the baby walked in the door their siblings were anxiously waiting to give them the first tour of the house!