Due Date

Today is my due date. And I have no baby yet.

In Boston, they are not quick to induce you; it won’t be until I’m at 41 weeks that they’ll schedule an induction and it wouldn’t be for a few more days after the 41 week mark (probably three or four days), so it seems unlikely that I’ll get to that point, since I am progressing on my own (I have no desire to get induced if I can help it, so I am very grateful that my midwife and doctor aren’t anxious to do so either).

I feel like if I say I’m okay with not having a baby yet, that I’m not feeling particularly antsy, that you won’t believe me – you’ll think I’m just trying to convince myself to not throw myself off a cliff because aiiiiieeee, no baby yet.

But really, I don’t mind.  I know a due date is inexact at best. I’m not uncomfortable, so I’m not dying to get this baby out, and I have a lot of other things going on at the moment that are keeping me so busy that I will go hours without even thinking about when the baby might arrive.

I can still sleep pretty much straight through the night – I get up perhaps twice to go to the bathroom and get a drink (having the AC running in our room makes it quite dry) and I’m up total for 10 minutes. Bart and I are still walking several miles most mornings and that’s not really any more difficult than it has been. And I have loved having more time to read now that school is out.

The main thing that bothers me about not having had my baby yet is the constant stream of comments telling me to have my baby now or demanding why I’m not in labor right this minute, as if it is my own fault for being too dumb or lazy to actually produce this baby. As if I’m keeping my baby inside on purpose. THAT I will be very very happy to be done with.

It was such a relief to go in to see the midwife this morning and talk about my baby for an hour (I had a non-stress test, and some other things, so it was kind of a long appointment) and not feel even a hint of judgment for not having my baby yet.

This makes me sound like an incredibly grumpy pregnant lady, but so be it.

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  1. Maybe I'm weird, but I'm hoping my baby will be late. The longer it stays in there, the better for brain development. And going into labor naturally is much nicer than being induced by all accounts, so I hope you're right and you're able to proceed naturally over the next few days.

    So excited for you!

  2. You have now reached a point I never did with any of the four kids – the due date!

    The baby IS much easier to take care of on the inside. And I'm guessing your sleep will probably take a hit once she arrives.

    But once you get the hang of nursing (if you're choosing that route) you'll have lots of reading time. One of the best positives for nursing.

  3. You are incredibly lucky that you aren't uncomfortable. The last month was the worst for me. They are much easier to take care of if they would just stay in the oven. I never reached my due date with either of my kids. The first was 4 days early and the second was 3 weeks early. You go girl!

  4. People are so weird. When I was pregnant, my boss used to yell at me for gaining too much weight and my father-in-law for not gaining enough. Please.

  5. How weird that people would judge you for NOT having the baby! How can you control it (without medical intervention, obvs)?

    I will admit that when I checked your blog yesterday and today, I thought maybe you had gone into labor. But that's not pressure – just excitement!

  6. One half of my brain wants to write you a poem about being lovely and pregnant and threatening everyone else to just back off on any undue comments.

    The other half of my brain has absolutely no idea how to accomplish such a seemingly simple literary feat.

  7. The baby will come when she is supposed to. Glad you are feeling good. I was always so sick the last 6 weeks.

  8. I totally agree on NOT wanting to be induced (a concept pretty much no one in my family–one either side–understands). And hey, if you're comfortable and happy, then hurrah!

    I can't believe you can still sleep through the night… I already am awake half the night (mostly just because if I have to wake up enough to go to the bathroom, I have a hard time falling back asleep).

    I'm guessing mostly just people are excited for you to get to the next step. With Raymond it wasn't so much actually getting the baby, but curiosity about the whole labor and delivery thing that I was ansy about. I don't know that I'll feel that this time around!

  9. I never went over (was induced early because having Graham nearly ripped me in half – I make HUGE babies). One of my best friends went WAY overdue with both of here, but she stopped answering the phone and stayed away from church and such until she had her babies – she tired of hearing all of the (stupid) comments. 🙂

  10. You're so level-headed. I'm sure that no one's comments bother you too much, and I hope that you have a labor befitting your fabulous disposition, whenever it happens. Good luck!

  11. I am surprised that people are commenting to you about "why haven't you had your baby?". But then, being pregnant and having children with you seem to make it open season on rude/inappropriate/unwanted comments from strangers (and loved ones.) Enjoy your last days of sleep and quiet and having it just be you and Bart at home. Baby will come when she is ready to come–no need to rush her.

  12. I cannot relate to being comfortable or happy at
    Any point of pregnancy. And i think i will wait
    To have another till i am in texas – the land
    Of the no questions asked two week early induction 😉

    Its a good thing we are both on team jacob
    Or else we would have nothing in common!

    Good luck ! Enjoy your grape juice right after
    Delivery — its like manna from heaven

  13. It's amazing how people feel they have a right to say anything to you concerning your pregnancy. Enjoy the time you have with baby in the womb, especially since you're not uncomfortable.

  14. I've always thought July 16 was a good birthday, but I might be a little biased. 😉 Good luck with everything! I can't believe how strange some people can be about pregnancy — as if you can do anything about when the baby decides to be born!

  15. I was constantly surprised, when I was pregnant, how people seem to assume that you need or want their opinion or advice. You'll have the baby when it's time and everyone else needs to back off!

    Mayhap if you're desperate you could start seeking out send-me-into-labor advice. Not that any of that worked for me, but it might be a fun blog post to read while you're waiting! 😉

  16. I think a certain amount of grumpiness is kind of par to the course in pregnancy. And if your grumpiness is defined as being grumpy about other people's grumpiness at your "failure" to order your body to go into labor, well, that's not half bad, I think.

  17. It's all in good time; the baby is already thinking of you! So nice of baby to give you extra reading time as she snuggles in to her very warm surroundings.

  18. my oldest (now 24) was 20 days past his due date. I was perfectly fine, thinking it was great I'd get more summer time days off than spring but my co-workers were RELENTLESS. I ended up leaving the office in tears when I was 9 days late due to offensive comments. ignore them all. your baby will come when ready 🙂

  19. As someone who has had 3 kids, I can totally relate with you. I hated those "haven't you had that baby yet?!" type comments. Like I was trying to hold the child in. Plus, my kids were all early or, in the case of my first, on his due date. Apparently my kids knew that I was a stickler for punctuality! All in good time, I say. Enjoy these last few days/weeks with Bart and your books. Lots of time to be mommy comin' your way.

  20. sorry for the email this morning… i hope you know i wasn't judging you, just thinking about you. but you know the kind of sarcasm that comes out of my mouth…

  21. I've never gotten to the point of those comments, but I can imagine how annoying it would be. I wouldn't be answering my phones or anything at this point. Not to say that I am not excited and anxious to "meet" your baby, but I'm guessing less excited than you!

  22. You sound like me with my first two. The only reason I was a little anxious to have the baby was to accommodate my mother's scheduled flights 🙂

    I think even here in Texas they have to have a vague reason to induce you before about 41 wks, and they could never come up with one for me until I had Kate with her pesky umbilical cord. But like you, I almost wish I could have waiter longer when I was on my first. I was in no real hurry, but Claire decided to get low on amniotic fluid, so alas…

    You said you're actually progressing, so at least you have that. I didn't even have that when my due date arrived with Claire!

  23. I completely understand your feelings. My first was three weeks overdue and the comments became intolerable. (I'm not mentioning that as a horror story, but simply to show you that I really do understand.) The baby will come when it is time and hopefully without induced labor.

  24. It's so refreshing to hear/read something beyond the normal I'm miserable pregnant stuff. I do believe you! Hope all goes well!

  25. not grumpy… CONTENT!
    You are going to be a low-key laid-back mom, which will be SO great for all of you! Atta girl! The small wait is NOTHING. I hope you enjoy it!

  26. While the 16th might be a good day, sorry mainhoonemily – you could wait until say…. July 23rd! 🙂 (I'm not biased either!)

  27. You don't sound grumpy! You sound completely reasonable, trust me. 🙂 I am so glad you are feeling good. That is truly the most important thing right now. Hooray for good sleep too.

    I think it is fantastic that you are still walking every morning. I exercised up until the day my water broke (in the middle of the night) and I believe it helped tremendously in my recovery. I know things will go great for you. Enjoy these days.

    P.S. Just for the record–when people would ask things like, "Why hasn't that baby come yet?" it would drive me crazy too. Hang in there!

  28. Every time I'm in a work meeting and we're doing planning for the future, someone makes a comment about me having a baby like the Apocalypse is coming – "Oh, sure, we can do that now, but once that baby gets here" or "You really need to get moving on [random new assignment #47] before the baby comes". These comments usually end with dire predictions on how early the baby will actually get here.

    It makes me glad that whenever people asked my due date I gave a month and not a day. Next time I think I'll give a month later. The comments get more frequent closer to D-Day.

  29. People started telling me, "Any day now!" when I was 37 weeks pregnant with my first, so it's no wonder people get impatient when the baby doesn't come by the due date. As if it's your choice. And the average length of a first time pregnancy is 41 weeks 1 day, just so you know.

  30. All three of my babies were past their due dates – and I was very happy to know that they were "fully baked"! Good luck to you!

  31. Oh, people and their comments. It is almost like they have an inability to think before they speak when the topic is pregnancy or baby related.

    My cousin screened all her phone calls and skipped church at least a week before she delivered (this past week!) because she couldn't stand the comments anymore. I think I'll take her advice.

  32. Considering our baby is due the day after my last day of classes, I'm very much hoping he stays in there a nice, long time.

  33. Just so you know, I wasn't actually suggesting you go out and get induced the day you were 39 weeks. Just excited that you are getting towards the end. I actually did quite like getting induced with my first though, and I was full term…it took away a lot of my fear and stress.

    Jealous that you can sleep when you are that pregnant too. I can't do it. That makes you less grouchy than most, I guess.

  34. My daughter was going to be induced on July 31st, Just a weekend before her due date (I started student teaching three weeks later and the doc wanted me to breastfeed for at least three weeks) I chose July 31st because it was Harry Potter's birthday. I went into labor naturally at exactly 39 weeks and I convinced myself it was NOT going to be that day because it was WAY too soon (for my inane little mind to handle) so yes, I can totally believe that you are happy and content to have your baby inside to come out on her own =)

  35. Why do people feel the need to make such hideous comments and say negative things? Your body will push baby girl out when your body (and she) is good and ready. People should keep their stupid opinions to themselves. Currently that, along with people that say things like "this baby will change your life, and not in a good way" are my pet peeves.

  36. When I was pregnant with Noel, I heard "Are you still here?" a ton of times one Sunday in Texas. I hadn't even reached my due date. You are so lucky to be so fit and comfortable at 40 weeks!

  37. I hated the comments worst of all too, especially at church. –"Haven't you had that baby yet? Are you sure it's not twins? You look like you are about to pop!! and other really original and polite things people come up with."

    You are right to treasure the last days before she is born. I couldn't do it with Tav, but I have done it with the other three.

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