Today is my due date. And I have no baby yet.
In Boston, they are not quick to induce you; it won’t be until I’m at 41 weeks that they’ll schedule an induction and it wouldn’t be for a few more days after the 41 week mark (probably three or four days), so it seems unlikely that I’ll get to that point, since I am progressing on my own (I have no desire to get induced if I can help it, so I am very grateful that my midwife and doctor aren’t anxious to do so either).
I feel like if I say I’m okay with not having a baby yet, that I’m not feeling particularly antsy, that you won’t believe me – you’ll think I’m just trying to convince myself to not throw myself off a cliff because aiiiiieeee, no baby yet.
But really, I don’t mind. I know a due date is inexact at best. I’m not uncomfortable, so I’m not dying to get this baby out, and I have a lot of other things going on at the moment that are keeping me so busy that I will go hours without even thinking about when the baby might arrive.
I can still sleep pretty much straight through the night – I get up perhaps twice to go to the bathroom and get a drink (having the AC running in our room makes it quite dry) and I’m up total for 10 minutes. Bart and I are still walking several miles most mornings and that’s not really any more difficult than it has been. And I have loved having more time to read now that school is out.
The main thing that bothers me about not having had my baby yet is the constant stream of comments telling me to have my baby now or demanding why I’m not in labor right this minute, as if it is my own fault for being too dumb or lazy to actually produce this baby. As if I’m keeping my baby inside on purpose. THAT I will be very very happy to be done with.
It was such a relief to go in to see the midwife this morning and talk about my baby for an hour (I had a non-stress test, and some other things, so it was kind of a long appointment) and not feel even a hint of judgment for not having my baby yet.
This makes me sound like an incredibly grumpy pregnant lady, but so be it.