You can imagine my joy when I opened my email this morning and discovered that in a few weeks I’ll be receiving a check for several thousand dollars.
No, I wasn’t awarded a large scholarship, no wealthy great-uncles died and willed me vast amounts of cash, my tax return did not “mysteriously” gain several dependents.
This money will be coming from Bill Gates himself. All I need to do is forward the email I received along to everyone in my address book and Bill Gates will write me a check for my time (if he does not, I’ve been assured, we can sue in a giant class-action suit).
I mean, GET THIS – For every person I send it to, I will receive $245. For everyone person that I send it to that sends it on, I will receive $243 and for everyone person they send it to, I will get $241.
I mean, it sounds too good to be true of course, but once I’d scrolled down past the (literally) thousands of email addresses, the email assured me that they “do not usually forward messages, but this is from my good friend Pearlas Sandborn and she really is an attorney. If she says this will work – it will work . . . I am an attorney, And I know the law.”
People, if Pearlas Sandborn says its true, well, who am I to question?
(Also, I’m not really clear as to why the person had to ask their friend Pearlas who is “really an attorney” when apparently they themselves are an attorney, but when huge sums of money are on the line, I don’t ask time-wasting questions).
Let’s see, I can send it to every person I work with, have worked with, have gotten spam from, have commented on my blog, is on the mailing lists I’m on at UT, every family member, every student I TAed for at BYU, and everyone at church.
Wow. I just did a little calculation and I’m going to be loaded. This is probably the best day of my life.
Please leave me your address in the comments so that we can all get in on this action!
Oh and also, you may not have heard, but Barack Obama was sworn into the Senate on the Quran. Tell everyone you know.
[Okay, really? I can’t believe people are still forwarding these preposterous things. I sort of want to die when I realize that someone who I know well enough to give my actual legitimate email address to thinks these things are true! At school we talk all the dang time about people who think anything that is on the Internet is the gospel truth. But I didn’t think I knew any of those people. Oh how wrong I was. And if you’re interested, here is the Snopes page for the email I got.]
Beck Family says
Rose, the lady upstairs falls for everything she receives in the mail..it’s so sad!
I love snoopes….
My mom always sends me these forwards that are like, “BEWARE THIS COMPLETELY LEGIT VIRUS!” and they are always about opening attachments. Just don’t open them! End of story.
I know that she means well, though, so I just delete silently.
Last night, in Stake Council, they read a letter from the first presidency about how one of those e-mail forwards is false and to please stop with it all ready. I about died…are people really dumb enough to believe e-mail forwards? And does the PROPHET OF THE LORD have nothing better to do then squash e-mail forward e-mails?!
I am also a silent deleter. I have told everyone “DO NOT INCLUDE ME IN YOUR CHAIN MAIL – IT IS ONE OF MY TOP 3 PET PEEVES!” Yet, somehow, winners like that Bill Gate jobbie keep getting thru somehow.
WHAT?!?! Are you telling me that all this time that email was pretend. We won’t be wealthy from email forwards and be able to retire in two years. Dang it! That ruins my day.
Kidding. I love snopes. And I hate bogus email forwards! 🙂
I wonder that too. Seriously, like, are there still people trying to get millions of dollars transferred into their bank accounts from Nigeria? I don’t get it.
Funny you mention this because I got this email today! DELETE.
OH man, I hear ya. Sometimes “other people” are just PAINFUL…
Garbage e-mail annoys me to pieces. But even more annoying to me are the e-mails from family and friends (that have a beautiful poem, prayer, or story) with a blurb at the bottom that says you have to pass it on for good luck and that if you don’t something bad will happen. I always say a few nasty things, then a little prayer, and hit delete.
Perhaps there are people who believe these things (I do not), but the fact that they forward things like this on to you is probably a sign that either A) they think you’re nice enough to not kill them for doing so (a compliment to you), or B) you’re one of those people on their contact list who they really don’t care enough about to care what you think when you receive it. You’re right to feel insulted.
I can’t agree enough with these emails! All sorts of nutty people out there! I rarely even read these things!
David Grover says
Well I heard that researchers at Yale created a truth Filter for the internet, but when they turned it on the only website left was lds.org, so of course they’ll never release their findings.
Earl & Vickie says
Sometimes these things don’t come from who they purport to be from. Sometimes email addresses are “harvested” and then used by spam programs. I gave up along time ago trying to figure out which is which. Delete.
those are my favorite emails!!! i got my check last week :)i bought an island off the coast of hawaii with my payout. what are you going to buy??
I’m a big fan of Emily Griffin too. I agree–she is much better than Sophie Kinsella. My favorite is “Something Borrowed”.
Oh, my aunt is the worst about stupid e-mails. I’m too the point where I just delete them before I even read them. So sad…
At first, I figured you were just being sarcastic, but near the end of your post I really thought you were going to do it!!! I was a little concerned….ha ha.
Don’t you know, those things work?! Those ones and the “Make a wish or something bad will happen to you” emails.