So, I’m training the girl at work who is taking my place and my brain is turning into mush. She keeps asking me things like “what do you call this thing that you do?” and I have to say something brilliant like “Umm, I don’t really call it anything. Just. . .maybe, ‘fax thingys?’

Or, I’ll be showing her how to use some of the software and I realize that I don’t actually know the names of any of the buttons I push or tabs I open or things I check. And because I don’t know right from left (don’t laugh!), I end up saying things like “push that button in the corner. No, the other corner. Um, it’s called. . .let me get closer so I can see. Mmm, oh yes. The “Apply Filter” button. Yes, okay, that’s step one of fifty.”

It’s a wonder she hasn’t beaned me with the stapler yet.

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  • Reply Terri B. December 12, 2007 at 12:50 am

    Isn’t this soooo true? I’ve recently acquired someone to help me with various statistics collecting duties and I found the same thing — doing a job yourself and training someone else to do the job are two different things! Oh yeah, and treat yourself to a nice cup of hot chocolate as a reward for today’s “training duty.”

  • Reply Chelsea December 12, 2007 at 1:54 am

    I’ve been there too! I’m the one that trains in my dept. I can never tell them what to do from a distance. I always have to go look at what there doing so I can tell them the next step. It’s funny to hear it from someone else too! Makes me feel sadly better.

  • Reply TheMoncurs December 12, 2007 at 2:39 am

    This is when you start wondering to yourself, ‘Do I REALLY know what I’m doing??’

    It happens to me all the time when people ask me how to do things. And I end up responding with something like, “You go to the website..something like and then you click that one button that I think might be on the bottom? And then fill out the info and then copy it and then there are a few more steps..I can’t explain it.” And then they’re like, “I can’t believe we pay you to do this job.”

  • Reply janet December 12, 2007 at 6:08 am

    Has your boss asked you to write up a little manual for her to reference later? It might be a good project (just speaking from experience…)

  • Reply Unnaturally Blonde December 12, 2007 at 1:03 pm

    Oh that sounds rough! I have to train someone new after Christmas, and I’m not looking forward to it one bit! Hopefully they are both quick learners for our sake!

  • Reply RA December 12, 2007 at 2:46 pm

    Yeah, I second the manual. When I left my old job, it helped me to write out the process before I went bumbling through it, and then the person could just follow along and take notes. I didn’t mind breezing through some stuff because they could always just check it later, preferably when I was not around, ahem.

  • Reply Sheyenne December 12, 2007 at 4:11 pm

    Okay, this could actually work in your favor, because when they see that this new girl just can’t figure out what she’s doing, they will peg her for a moron, and realize how wonderful you really are, and then they will give you a raise for the few hours that you actually still work there. See? It’s a good thing.

  • Reply Merrick December 12, 2007 at 7:51 pm

    Why do you need someone to replace you? I thought you were staying with your job?

  • Reply Nina G December 12, 2007 at 8:17 pm

    Wait until you’re a mom and your children ask you “What is the square root of 784?” or “What does ‘panoply’ mean?” or “What did Napoleon do?” And you possibly don’t know, and even when you think you might know, or you at least have a vague idea, you are afraid to answer because if they go look it up on the internet and the answer is different than what you told them (even if you’re close!) they’ll think you’re an idiot or lied to them. There is real stress! Eventually this girl at work will leave your life. However, your children will most likely speak at your funeral. 🙂

  • Reply She Likes Purple December 12, 2007 at 11:29 pm

    Not that I haven’t gotten the urge, but I hear stapler beaming isn’t exactly the way to win over new co-workers OR encouraged by HR 😉

  • Reply chloe elizabeth December 14, 2007 at 12:12 am

    I can’t wait to train someone to replace me…and yet I’m terrified at the same time! I hate realizing that I can do, but can’t explain.

  • Reply Le Petit Chic December 14, 2007 at 8:16 pm

    Ohh, I hate training people. I’m the worst at it because it’s all in my head and I don’t know how to put into words an explanation of how to do certain things!

  • Reply Stefanie Elyse December 17, 2007 at 5:47 pm

    That was a hilarious post! I need to check your blog more often to get a few more laughs in my life!

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