Twilight. The Movie.

Oh, if you did not expect this post, you know nothing about me.

I spent the first half of the movie composing my blog post. And it was going to start like this: “I tried. I really tried. I’m sorry, but I never was able to buy Robert Pattinson as Edward.”

Fortunately, I changed my mind, and by the end I thought he did an excellent job. But people. It took me OVER AN HOUR to stop rolling my eyes at him. And um, those weren’t my eyes rolling back in my head as I swooned over him. They were eyes rolling with irritation and disbelief. He was just so. . . annoying. And makeup-y. And weird voice-y.

And then, after he showed Bella his sparkly skin and his tree running ability, etc., and they showed up together and he was smirking that Edward smirk all over the place, declaring that he was breaking all the rules anyway, so why not have a little fun, I made a 180 degree turn and suddenly he was a terrific Edward. I’m a fickle one, I realize.

Kristen Stewart, on the other hand, has made me nervous from the day I first saw her cast. The previews made her sound like a mouth-breathing idiot, but I loved her from the first moment she was on screen. She was all Bella to me; I liked her even more than the Bella of the book. She was fantastic. She is my biggest fan.

And Jacob, of course, despite being approximately one foot too short, was hilariously perfect. Even with hair twice as long as mine, he was delightful and sweet and funny. I can’t wait to see him in the next movies.

And Charlie. Well, Charlie was fantastically wonderfully awesome. I couldn’t get enough of his character. The scene with the gun just had me in hysterics.

When Edward came on screen for the first time, Ralphie and I screamed like banshees, just because we could. What else do you do on opening night? And the the girl next to me loudly made snide remarks to her neighbor about how loud we were and how, oh my gosh, they better not do that the whole movie, cause, it’s like, so annoying. It took all my willpower not to turn to her and sweetly tell her to shut it.

The movie was also surprisingly funny. I laughed many a time. The prom scene warmed my heart with its cuteness (and the Iron and Wine song, which I lurve). Emmett was perfectly, perfectly cast. Mike was surprisingly charming. Renee was Nina! The Port Angeles scene, my favorite scene in the whole book, was pulled off with aplomb. Bella has a Mac!

One big huge horrible negative though, was summed up in two words by Kayla: “Pancake Makeup.” Oh my heavens, seriously half of my issues with Edward early on were based on the plum colored lipstick and the powder covered beard (the other half may have been the world’s ugliest and most poorly fitting gray pea coat).

Anyway, overall I really enjoyed the movie. It was fun to go with a big group of friends and even more fun to stand around for over thirty minutes afterward discussing our favorite parts and our least favorite parts.

And now I can get down to the serious business of talking everyone’s ear off about it. That kind of work doesn’t do itself, you know.

(Yes, I wrote this post at one a.m. What of it?)

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  • Reply hollyhs November 22, 2008 at 7:33 am

    ha ha! i love to hear your take! jenae and i are planning to go next week when i’m down there and then i’m sure we’ll be yaking about it too. 🙂

    PS: i write most of my posts after midnight (the kid is asleep). welcome to my club. 🙂

  • Reply The Liddells November 22, 2008 at 1:47 pm

    I would be very surprised if you and your friend were the only one screaming like that. The theater I went to was screaming anytime Edward came on the screen. But I have to say that I really enjoyed the movie as well. I do have to agree with the makeup, though. That was very annoying!

  • Reply Kristy November 22, 2008 at 2:11 pm

    Heehee…you said lurve. I lurve that word. I can’t wait to see the movie…in a few weeks.

  • Reply Kimberly November 22, 2008 at 2:25 pm

    I agree. I thought the movie changed completely half way through (and thank goodness for that). There was far too much staring and heavy breathing for me at the beginning. And I hate Edward’s hair.

  • Reply Nikki November 22, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    I’m going to see it today. In about 3 hours. So excited!

  • Reply Carly Jane November 22, 2008 at 4:42 pm

    Janssen, you really are the best reviewer of books and movies. Even if I don’t want to see the movie (and… brace yourself… I didn’t even read the last book, I was so dang annoyed with Stephanie Meyer by book three). Anyhow, your review was, as always, fun to read.

    Ps. I am so dang stinkin’ excited you are moving to Boston. Jeremy, my husband, wants (cross your fingers) to go to Harvard or Yale for law school in two years… and well, I was leaning towards Yale myself, but if I might actually get to be a real life (as opposed to a blogosphere) friend with you and Bart in Boston… Harvard just might be moving up on the scale!

  • Reply Science Teacher Mommy November 22, 2008 at 4:43 pm

    Waxing Pattinson’s chest and stipulating in his contract that he works out approximately every day for the next year would help. My LEAST favorite scene was the diamond skin bit, I nearly snorted with derision at the bad special effect. He just looked fuzzy. And the weird voice. . . maybe he isn’t entirely comfortable with the American accent?

    Having said that, I fell in love with Cedric Diggory like four years ago when he was still jail bait. I liked him from the minute I found out he was cast.

    At first I didn’t by him as the insecure 17 year old. I NEVER saw him this way in the book, but it really grew on me after a while. In fact, the whole teenagery perspective was clarified for me with the movie. Pattison gave a quote to an on-line interview (which I was NOT reading, nor any of the fan sites yesterday) in which he talked about how uncomfortable he was with Meyer’s descriptions in the first three books (he read them all in one weekend to prep for a screen test) of Ella’s “lustful” obsession with Edward’s looks. He spent months trying to figure out how in the world he was going to pull off playing the world’s most beautiful man. Then, he said that he realized that any time you fall in love for the first time, you become the most beautiful person in the world to that person. So, he concluded, he didn’t have to act like the world’s most beautiful man (which would have made him cocky and annoying) but just a man madly in love. Which, pretty much, *SIGH* made him totally adorable.

    I loved some things–the way he hovered, the green house, the lunch room scene, THAT KISS, all the rescues, the “spider monkey” comment, the ballet studio, the goofy high school friends, meeting his parents. Other things I really hated–Bella in her underwear during THAT KISS, biology class especially that idiot 7th grade mitosis lab that is probably the only one Meyer remembered from high school, the iffy special effects, and yes, of course, the make up. Especially Carlisle’s.

    Oh, and I’d always pictured Charlie as older and fatter, but this guy was perfect. He even looks like Bella.

    I’m glad to have a safe place to admit to such vice . . .

  • Reply Operation Pink Herring November 22, 2008 at 4:45 pm

    I love your review. I had some issues with the movie, too… but Edward was so, so perfect that I am willing to overlook them. I totally agree – it was the scene in the parking lot, where he smirks that he’s breaking all the rules now, where he truly became Edward to me. Man, I want to watch that scene again right now. Why isn’t it on DVD yet?!

  • Reply Corbett Family November 22, 2008 at 4:59 pm

    Since I probably won’t write my own post, I’ll comment on yours. It was fun to see the movie with you and the other ladies.

    I simply overlooked the make-up and I really liked the whole thing. My main reason for liking it was the way the cinematography (yes I took film in college so I can use that word) brought out the emotion–all the close-ups and facial expressions. If the effects had been too slick and Hollywood (instead of more like an independent film), then that would have never worked. I was pleasantly surprised by most of the characters because I didn’t think I would be able to get past how I pictured them all in my head. So, overall I really liked it. I hope the next one isn’t ruined by too many Hollywood special effects.

  • Reply Amber November 22, 2008 at 7:00 pm

    So I will admit – I was waiting to see what you you thought after reading brandi’s opinon. This makes me feel better. To read everyone’s comments.

    I will have you know I think the whole room was screaming when he was first shown…

    I didn’t really notice – but looking back and think you are right. The movie did have a turning point.

    You know what scence I would have liked to see – the blood typing class. That is one of my personal favorites -and the turning point for me in the book. *Sigh*

  • Reply Ralphie November 22, 2008 at 8:55 pm

    I told you! I can NOT STOP thinking about it. It’s really bugging me!

    Can we go see this again? Tonight?

  • Reply Miriam Higginson November 22, 2008 at 9:31 pm

    Everyone is coming here for Thanksgiving next week and we’re all going together to see it then – how fun is that going to be!! Glad I can read all your comments without worrying about ruining the show! (Unlike when the books came out!) I’m not very picky generally – so anticipate to love the whole thing 🙂

  • Reply chelon:) November 23, 2008 at 12:14 am

    very informative! good thing i saw the movie before this 🙂 i loved the movie…the only person that i hated was jasper…ugggh!

  • Reply Becca November 23, 2008 at 3:20 am

    WE HAVE SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT. I honestly wanted to call you after I saw it but then I remembered that a) you were going to the 9 pm show and I got out at 6, and b) I don’t even know if I have your number.

    ugggh. I HATED Bella. Edward had too much makeup on. But I still screamed like a little girl when he walked in the cafeteria. We seriously must talk.

  • Reply Becca November 23, 2008 at 3:23 am

    oh and I DIED when I figured out that Renee was Nina. That was the first thing I told Ty about the movie!

    “Bella’s mom was Nina Meyers!”

  • Reply Miriam Higginson November 23, 2008 at 3:33 pm

    Ok – who’s Nina? Was that her character’s name on Grey’s Anatomy? At first I thought you were talking about your Mom … thought, huh?

  • Reply Whitney November 23, 2008 at 9:48 pm

    I loved Twilight. I can’t wait until I get to see it again. I thought they all did great jobs, especially Kristin as Bella, I think she did the best. Charlie was perfect. I loooooved it. I loved this post, too 🙂

  • Reply Nina G November 24, 2008 at 2:28 am

    Yes, I was Renee. Did I forget to mention that?

  • Reply Nina G November 24, 2008 at 2:28 am

    Actually, that post threw me too. Not being a 24 fan. Had to look it up.

  • Reply Douglas Carl November 24, 2008 at 2:37 pm

    I liked your review. We saw the movie yesterday and I thought it did an excellent job of translating the book into a movie. However, a little too tame for me. Never got my blood flowing. But I liked every actor and enjoyed it as much as I enjoy most Disney or Animated
    Movies. Just think of the millions our little friend Stephanie is making!!!

    No question that you could do the same thing, Janssen. Start dreaming up a fantasy world. And, where on earth is Bart’s next chapter?

  • Reply Merrick November 24, 2008 at 7:18 pm

    I can’t wait to see it this weekend!!

  • Reply Brad November 24, 2008 at 9:16 pm

    You made me want to go and see this movie right now–and I wasn’t even a big fan of the books.
    Brad and I have commented from time to time how fun it was to have you guys visit–we really did enjoy it. We miss the conversation! Come visit again, wherever we end up in the next month or so!

  • Reply Jeanelle November 24, 2008 at 9:31 pm

    Fabulous review! Love, love, love your writing. I’m seeing the movie again tomorrow night and I’m so excited about it. Besides missing the Stephenie Meyer cameo, I didn’t notice that was Nina as Bella’s mom. Dumb me. And I’m emailing you right now! 🙂

  • Reply The Foote Family November 25, 2008 at 8:50 am

    OK—so I have heard a lot of mixed reviews on this, and I was debating on whether to just wait and rent it (even though that is forever away), but I think I have decided that I will just have to go and see it for myself, but just set really low expectations so that I will enjoy it more. 🙂 What do ya think?

  • Reply Miriam Higginson November 25, 2008 at 1:43 pm

    Nina is from 24? I don’t remember her.

  • Reply hello, my name is amber. November 25, 2008 at 5:43 pm

    best review of twilight i have read thus far! i wish i had more time to read through this and tell you my favorite points, but i’m running out the door.

    i’ll be back later.

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