Our Monthly Meeting with Each of Our Girls
Last summer, Bart and I started having a monthly meeting with each of our girls and I truly think it’s been one of the best things we’ve done as parents.
On the first Sunday of the month, in the afternoon, we call each of the girls into our room one by one and spend about 10-15 minutes chatting with each of them.
We snuggle up on the bed and start with Bart and me each telling her 3 things we love about her. It might be big things or little things, funny things or sweet things, and Bart and I go back and forth each sharing one thing at a time.
I’ll tell you what, nothing softens up a child like hearing how amazing you think they are. Plus, it’s such a good reminder as a parent to focus on the things you love about your child.
After that, we ask if there is anything they are worried about or that we can help them with or that’s making their life challenging or unpleasant.
Then, we usually have something we want to talk with them about, whether it’s being a good example to a younger sibling who is copying their every move or getting to homework earlier in the week or keeping their room clean or whatever.
We try really hard to frame whatever it is we want to help them improve in a positive way – “Star, you’re such a great big sister and Tally looks up to you so much and wants to do whatever you do. That means you have so much power to help her do the right things by being a good example.”
We keep things simple and brief, but it’s been the best addition to our family life.
It helps me really focus on how amazing and special each of my children are (instead of getting bogged down in all the junk behavior that’s part of childhood) and THEY are so much better behaved when they feel recognized and loved.
It takes less than an hour once a month and it pays off in the biggest way.
It also means we have an easy forum all set up to discuss issues as they come along or have conversations that require a little space and privacy.
Do you do something like this in your family? I’d love to hear about it!
What a fabulous idea! Thanks for sharing 😊
I LOVE this. Going to start this with my kids immediately.
Thank you for sharing.
It’s the best!
I love this so much. My oldest is almost 16, but it’s never too late to start something new, right?
Never!
This is such a great idea!
Do you and Bart do a monthly check-in with each other, too?
No, not really! I feel like we talk all night, every night 😂
What a lovely idea! I will be suggesting we start this!
Inspiring! We just finally put monthly “household meetings” for ourselves on the calendar, but I’m definitely adding this feature in now. (They’re too small for the biz side of family mtgs that the adults need!)
This is such a good idea! I need to be better about having real one on ones with my kids, especially Kinsley!
We have “special nights” once a month with each child once they turn five. We try to have it on the date they were born. For example: my oldest was born April 3rd so every month on the 3rd he gets his special night. This is a night where they get to stay up about an hour past when they’d normally be in bed and spend time with us playing board games, reading aloud, doing crafts, or playing whatever they want. They get to choose the activity and they get our full attention. No screens allowed. Snacks or special treats are always a fun bonus. Our kids really look forward to this time and we do too. It is a great time to talk to them exactly how you do with your girls during your monthly meetings!
I love this idea! Short amount of time, high impact–the perfect combo.
Do you and Bart decide together in advance what one thing you’ll bring up with each of the girls?
How do you do this logistically? Do you do it during nap time of younger kids or are they all able to be independent while you are both occupied with the one child? We would love to start this (at least with 2 out of our 3) but our ages are 1, 3 and 5 and trying to figure out what this might look like. Thanks!
Our girls are old enough to be independent while we do this (we started when our youngest was about 4).