New Moon

And. . . . I went to see the New Moon movie tonight. You couldn’t have expected anything less. This will be the nineteenth post I’ve written that references Twilight in one way or another (and that doesn’t count the quarterly or yearly recap reading recap posts). I have embraced my Twilight nerd status. Ask to see my tattoo some time.

First off, you all know I am ultra-ultra Team Jacob. Last year, when I reread the books, after finishing Eclipse again, I walked around in a fog of despair in Kohl’s because I was just so depressed for Jacob. So yeah. I came into it with some biases.

But the movies? Make me even more Team Jacob. After watching New Moon, I’m pretty certain the producers are too. I mean, here we have Jacob marching around for several scenes with no shirt on, and he looks mighty good without a shirt on. Then, Edward pulls his shirt off in Italy. He’s all pasty and hairy and nothing compared to Jacob’s six-pack. It’s like taking candy from a baby; how could you NOT love Jacob more? Of the seven girls I went with, three or four of them said they’d totally switched to Jacob’s side (as well they should have). I’m not complaining. The movie of Eclipse will probably kill me, what with the total heart-breaking rejection of Jacob.

Also, Edward? Lipstick or no lipstick. You’ve gotta stick with one or the other; none of this bouncing back and forth between the two. It’s ludicrous. I can’t take my eyes off your lips. And not in a good way. More in a “hmm, does he have lipstick on his teeth?” kind of way. Maybe not what you’re going for.

Last time, I had low hopes for the movie, and it exceeded them (at least for the first viewing). This time, though, I had pretty high expectations, and it was still FAR better than I’d expected. It didn’t have that same “shot with a home video camera” feel and I felt like the cheese was waaaaaay toned down.

Jacob just saved the movie for me. He translates better from the book to the screen than any other character, I think (Kayla reminds me, rightly, that Charlie is also spot on. Oh, how I love him too. He couldn’t be better).  Jacob is so perfectly sweet and simultaneously snarky. I’m so so thrilled they didn’t recast Jacob – I don’t think anyone could possibly have played him better. It’s even possible that this movie will help my misguided mother and sisters see the error of their ways and turn to the light (not that I’m holding my breath). From the screaming in the movie theater, it certainly seemed like most of the theater tonight was on Jacob’s side.

My real problem, of course, the one that I’ll never fully be able to get over as a movie viewer, is that Robert Pattinson is just not good-looking. Why did they not cast someone else?! I would have been happy to make suggestions, had anyone bothered to call for my opinion (shockingly, no one did).

Frankly, I don’t care for Robert Pattinson OR Kristin Stewart in real life (your high and mighty attitudes about Twilight? Are not endearing. Take your mega checks with good grace or let them recast), but I was able to forget about their real life irritating-ness after a minute or two.

Also, did the guy who plays Mike get dramatically less good looking? I mean, I thought he was somewhat cute, in a pudgy faced way, in the last movie and in this one, I kept thinking, “Did they recast?!”

I could talk on and on about the details, boring you all to tears, but you can all be grateful for Kayla, who will spare you that horror by allowing me to text her far into the night with my mindless neural firings.

I know that some people feel pretty pleased about not being Twilight fans, some even to the point of being superior about it, but I watch the movies and read the books and talk to other people who love them too and I’m glad to be a part of it. If you decide in ten years to give them a chance, you’ll have missed out. It’ll be over and you’ll have missed it.

I watched Jacob’s shy but insistent efforts to woo Bella and remember so clearly those same feelings from high school – the frustration, the hope, the disappointment, the almost right moment that disappears like it never happened. Say what you want about Stephenie Meyer’s lousy writing, she’s created some characters that ring pretty true to what teenage life is like.

Whoa, hello, sermonizing on about the goodness and truth of Twilight here. Clearly, I should not be allowed to stay up this late.