My One Beauty
I can’t really think about haircuts without thinking of Amy, from Little Women, saying to Jo, “Oh, Jo, your one beauty!” when Jo comes back from having cut off her hair to pay for a train ticket so Marmee can go take care of her wounded husband.
Anyway . . .
Might I preface this story by saying that a bad haircut is only funny quite a bit after the fact? That is, enough after the fact that your hair has grown back in again.
Right around the time we moved back to Texas, another girl moved here and she cut hair. And I needed someone to cut my hair. She did a fantastic job and I went back again.
And then she had a baby and it’d been a while since I’d gotten my haircut and I figured she wasn’t cutting hair for a while and one of my friends had said that she’d really liked this new little salon about two seconds from my house and also it was only $12.95.
(That ominous music is the sound of my cheapness coming to stab me in the back).
I decided I’d give it a shot because a) personal recommendation, b) regular stylist busy with a three week old baby and c) cheap! (Did I mention cheap?).
I took in this picture to give the stylist an idea of what I was going for. She suggested going slightly shorter with the bangs just so they weren’t quite so “in your eyes” which sounded reasonable to me.
She turned the chair around so I was facing away from the mirror and got to work (this should have been a hint – if she won’t let you watch her cut your hair, maybe this would be an excellent time to fake appendicitis and flee).
And then, when she turned the chair back toward the mirror, ten minutes later, I had the sneaking suspicion my bangs weren’t exactly even.
This suspicion was confirmed when she spent five minutes fussing with them and finally said (AND I QUOTE WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EXAGGERATION), “Well, if you flat iron this side and curl the other half, they should be even.”
. . . .
Yes. She really said that.
And then, like the enormous pushover that I am, I said it all looked fine, paid (I even tipped her a couple bucks. I am such an idiot) and went on my way.
My bangs on one side were WAY too short. I cried and made friends with my bobby pins.
I wrote an honest (unhappy) review on Yelp and wished that would make my hair grow faster.
Even Bart, who generally is extremely careful about making haircut comments admitted that it looked pretty lousy.
(Later in the evening, Bart asked me, “Did the woman who cut your hair have short hair?” I told him she did. “Did she have weird hair?” I admitted that, actually, yes, she did. “Did she dress nicely or was she kind of a slob or dumpy?” And once again, I had to agree that, in fact, he’d just perfectly described the woman who cut my hair.
“You . . . might want to keep an eye on that kind of thing next time you get your hair cut,” he advised).
The next day at church, I saw the husband of my regular stylist and he mentioned that, while she wasn’t up to a full schedule again, she was doing a few cuts here and there and would have certainly squeezed me in if I’d called. I resisted the urge to collapse on the floor in sobs.
Then he suggested that I go get a refund.
And you know what? I did. I felt a little better.
Now it’s been three weeks and while if you look closely you can tell how uneven and poorly cut my hair is, it’s not so bad you’d notice right off the bat.
I think.
All that and no pictures?
I don't blame you, but I'm still a bit disappointed 🙂
I'm so impressed that you got a refund. I'm too much of wuss! I just moan and complain about it until it grows out.
You're killin' me smalls. No pic of the uneven bangs? Did you get it adjusted at all, maybe with your cuticle scissors? Glad you got a refund.
I actually laughed out loud reading this… not because I think your bad hair cut is funny, only because you did a fantastic job writing about.
You are a riot.
But I am truly so sorry about your bad hair cut. I still can't laugh about the REALLY BAD one I got oh, in 2003. It still haunts me. I still get anxiety about saying to please cut more than 1/4 inch for fear of what might become of my hair.
Hang in there.
BAH! Her quote is priceless! Oh man I'm so glad you got a refund, but it doesn't make up for it! I've shed to many tears in behalf of my hair! Don't worry, you look fantastic with or without uneven bangs!
I think your hair looks fab (I even told you that), so I'm sorry that I have no sympathy for you and your fabulous hair.
Also, when I get my hair cut, I look for the short-haired, crazy-styled hair stylists. I like when they have tattoos and bright pink splotches in their hair. Just what does that say about me, I wonder?
You know how when you make the decision to get your hair cut you want it right that moment? I have this problem. One time I let it get to me so bad that I let my husband talk me into going to the place in the mall the same day I had that itch. Did you know that the people at these places are usually hair school dropouts or couldn't make it in a regular salon??? I didn't. Worst haircut ever! Luckily I don't have the face shape for bangs, so it was just a bunch of funky layers. Always ask the person how long they've been cutting hair for, and where they went to school. It's a MUST.
I am also proud of you for getting the refund! I have a hair horror story from when we first moved to Houston. The stylist was a total prima donna, didn't listen to me, cut my hair entirely different than what I asked for (read: I haaaated it), and then charged me twice what the salon had quoted me when I called to make the appointment. I still regret to this day sitting there and taking it like a wimp.
This story does have a happy ending. I'm much more outspoken now, especially when it comes to my hair, and I love, love my stylist. 🙂
Sorry. That is such a terrible feeling! But it's not your one beauty. You have plenty more. And hair does grow. Yes, it does. So do babies. . . in a few weeks you can have your regular stylist back!
This story had me laughing, sadly laughing. That's awful, I'm sorry!
I got a certificate for a free (clue #1) haircut at a place called Chop Tops (clue #2) at the medical center I was starting a new position at. Of course, the lady cutting my hair was completely funky with totally uneven hair (clue #3) but she obviously thought it looked good that way. Of course, being a schmuck, I also paid & tipped. So, you're not alone.
Plus sides: This was a really good read; you still have the picture of what you'd like for when you see someone who can actually make it a reality; and Bart is awesome.
Down side: You don't have curly hair that hides everything so that you can cut it yourself and be happy with it…for freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. 11 years, I've been doing that…ELEVEN YEARRRS.
I need a picture!!!
Oh yes. I am still making friends with my bobby pins (but it was my REGULAR STYLIST, ack!) because of my last bad haircut. I'm…just going to grow my hair out for a few months.
Janssen… You cannot hit 'publish' on a post like this without pictures.
Hahahaaaa. I loved this post especially because she said that too you. I might also be laughing at your pain, just a little, but it is because I have obviously been there. I usually try and cut my own hair (HA) Sometimes it turns out, sometimes it doesnt. Luckily my hair growns pretty darn fast so within a month its workable.
I have had a couple of bad dyes though. Dave always laughs at me because I will spend money to go get my hair done and then a week later redye it myself. I have done this quite a lot. But the last time I went to Utah, I went to this REALLY fancy salon and paid some big bucks to get my hair done and loved it. I guess you pay for what you get.
Good luck with your new best friend. The bobby pin.
I'm impressed that you went back to get a refund. Good for you!
I admit to spending a bit of money on my hair every month. But after having it dyed purple instead of my reddish tone followed by the gal offering to fix it, which was painful (multiple dye jobs in the same day, burns), and turned into a lighter shade of purple, I was scared to get my hair dyed again. This was done at one of those salons at the mall. For my scalp and sanity, I now visit a hair stylist at a swanky spa. It's well worth the money.
Oh I'm so sorry! Hair cuts can really be so traumatic!
so sad! but the picture you have to show your girl when your hair is grown is really cute.