General, I’m Good at this Business

June 20, 2008

Two nights ago, Bart and I had a huge fight.

There was screaming and stomping and slamming of items on the kitchen counter. This went on for about twenty minutes until we realized that killing ants one at a time wasn’t going to do it. Also, could they even hear us yelling at them to get out of our house?

A fight wasn’t the solution, people. This needed to be a war.

We pulled out all the things in our cupboards, heaped them in a pile on our kitchen table and proceeded to wipe out and then spray all our cupboards.

I hope I’m not making it sound like our house is totally gross and overrun by ants – we probably only saw twenty at the most. But Bart and I are paranoid people, and we worried that for every one ant we saw, there might be a dozen more crawling in the dark recesses of our cupboards, scurrying over our cereal boxes (soon to be replaced with tupperware, because paranoia does not die as easily as ants).

An hour of work later, I think we have conquered the ants.

Also, our kitchen is very clean, now.

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  • Reply Britt June 20, 2008 at 1:41 pm

    Ha ha! Very funny. I’m just glad to hear that you and Bart were on the same side of the fight.

    We have ant problems every year in our basement. How do they get there? I just have not clue. But we usually sprinkle two or three little piles of cornstarch around on the floor and that takes care of them. Then we just vacuum it up. Very safe, very effective. You can try it in your kitchen if you find any more of the little buggars!

  • Reply David Grover June 20, 2008 at 1:48 pm

    J-money, I want to know what you think of Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrel when you’re done.

  • Reply Packrat June 20, 2008 at 2:09 pm

    Ahh ants. Such darling little creatures – almost as fun to have as mice. I’m glad you caught them before there were thousands. (I put all cereals, flours, sugar, pastas, etc. in air tight containers otherwise the items are soon full of “crawlies”.)
    Oh, and Wednesday’s post was wonderful – cute kids, gorgeous quilt, family. (Pictures are fun!)

  • Reply TheMoncurs June 20, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    We had the same problem recently. I don’t think I even did anything special to get rid of them…just cleaned more often. And they went away within days. I keep watching though…where there are a few ants there are MORE ants!

  • Reply Knot June 20, 2008 at 3:19 pm

    We have ants all the time. Mostly they come up through the sink where I THINK they get water. They appear before or after storms.

    What makes me really afraid that I saw a honey bee disappear in a weep hole in my brick wall. One bee going in a wall means there are more. But I don’t want to open up that wall and find a lifetime supply of honey.


  • Reply Noelle June 20, 2008 at 3:28 pm

    So, my grandma just let me in on the little secret that Windex kills ants instantly….good luck with any future infestations…

  • Reply Carly Jane June 20, 2008 at 3:36 pm

    Crack me up! I love it. I also hate ants (or any bugs) in my kitchen. On my mission there was a spider the width of my hand in one of my houses. It was a tall room (15+ feet?) and we couldn’t reach it with a broom where it stayed for days on end at the top of the wall. I was SURE it crawled through my corn flakes every night. I recommend the tupperware.

  • Reply Sheyenne June 20, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    We get roaches. Large ones. Feel better now?

  • Reply La Petite Chic June 20, 2008 at 5:21 pm

    Ha ha! We had a horrible ant problem one summer when I was still living with my girlfriends. It totally gave me the creepy-crawlies!

  • Reply Heather June 20, 2008 at 5:42 pm

    I’d always take ants over scorpions, but sorry you had to have any infestations!

  • Reply heidikins June 21, 2008 at 6:42 am

    Hahaha! Classic. Good luck with the mini-pests!


  • Reply Kristi June 21, 2008 at 1:20 pm

    You sucked me right it. Why was I rooting for an actual fight? I need help.

  • Reply Lippy June 21, 2008 at 11:16 pm

    I’m typically something in the realm of sane, but the sight of ants on this side of the door gives me the willies, makes me mad, and starts me envisioning mass destruction by millions of them in the attic or something.

    Love my Black Flag 🙂

  • Reply Science Teacher Mommy June 22, 2008 at 1:27 am

    That reminds me of the time a spider sac exploded in our garage right outside the door and we had, literally, hundreds of baby spiders running under the door. We resorted to the vaccuum, pesticide, stomping and lots of well, screaming. I had nightmares for some time after that about spiders.

    Did anybody see Something Wicked This Way Comes? (A movie-short based on Ray Bradbury’s creepy beyond all reason story.)

  • Reply Mad Hadder June 22, 2008 at 4:49 pm

    I’ve been reading your blog for a few weeks. I think I found you through Miss Nemesis who connects in person with my neighbors. Your Austin comments make me homesick. My husband was a doctoral student there back in the early 80’s. We were the FIRST inhabitants of the student housing on Lake Austin Blvd. Closest to communal living I may ever get! I wept when we left Texas! I teach 7th grade English so I enjoy reading your recommends. Have you read Extremely Loud Incredibly Close? Dodie Smith’s books? Get them. Ants. Fire ants. Demonic. Seems like UT used to fumigate us a few times a trimester. And the roaches. One carried my baby off and we never saw him again…

  • Reply Erin June 24, 2008 at 1:46 pm

    You guys need to rent “Them!”, a 1954 sci-fi horror classic about giant radioactive ants.

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