Etc

iFail

On Friday evening, I went to the gym (yes, I know, loser alert, but Bart didn’t get back until quite late that night and I had nothing better to do. Also, it was the only way I was going to get in my 4 workouts for the week. Also, enough justifying my Friday night at the gym. It’s not like you don’t already know I’m not exactly radiating coolness).

I was reading a book on the treadmill while I walked, but when I was ready to start running, I turned on my iPod so I could finish up the audiobook I was listening to.

I only ran for a few minutes before I knocked the headphone cord with my arm, dislodging the iPod from the little tray on the machine and sending it flying past me, where it promptly disconnected from the headphones and landed on the floor. Then I had to do that embarrassing retrieval of it while all the people in the row you’re in AND the row behind you stare at you as if to say, “you really can’t even manage to keep your iPod off the floor?” (but hey, they were all there on a Friday night too, so I couldn’t feel too embarrassed).

I got back on the treadmill, restarted the iPod, and continued on my merry way.

For about 47 seconds. And then I knocked the cord again and repeated the whole scenario.

Except this time, I couldn’t see the iPod. Granted, I didn’t have my contacts in and I’d taken my glasses off because obviously I don’t wear those while I run, but still. Black carpet. Silver iPod. It shouldn’t have been that difficult.

I just could not see it ANYWHERE. The nice guy next to me took pity on me and laid down on the floor to look under the treadmills. He couldn’t see it. The guy on the treadmill behind me asked what we were looking for and he started looking around too.

I searched around all the treadmills, squinting like crazy, to no avail. It was like it had disappeared. And it’s not like you can really just hop back on the treadmill and be all, “Meh, it’s an iPod. So what if I lose it? I lose equipment worth over $100 every few days and think nothing of it. As you were.” I felt pressure not to give up the search.

(Really, the iPod is so old and the top is cracking off, and it’s completely scratched from the millions of times I held it against the bars of my bike when I rode back and forth to work that one summer that we will not speak of, and I have a new one that I’d just gotten 10 days earlier, so if it couldn’t be found, I wouldn’t be devastated).

On my way out, I told the guy at the desk what had happened and pointed out the treadmill I’d been using, asking that if it was found, it just be put at the desk for me and I’d check back in the morning (also, this is an excellent way to emphasize to the gym people that you have no life. Not only are you there on Friday night, but you’re telling them you’ll be back bright and early the next morning).

The next morning, when I arrived, I asked the guy manning the front desk if it’d been turned in. He said no, then asked me to show him the treadmill I’d been using. He looked under all the treadmills in the bank and all around and I finally said it was no big deal and went to another treadmill to start running.

And then, a guy on the treadmill near the one I’d been using the day before called out to me, “they found it!” Apparently the front desk guy had gotten a screwdriver, opened up the sides of the treadmill and found the iPod lodged in next to the track. Who even knew that could happen?

I think the moral of the story is, don’t go to the gym on Friday. It will bring you nothing but humiliation and heartache.

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26 Comments

  • Reply Miriam January 26, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    I knew there was a good reason I didn't go to the gym!

  • Reply Lady Susan January 26, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    That is really impressive!

  • Reply Ashley and Danny G January 26, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    Hilarious! I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way when I lodge my iPod into space (at anytime of day). Thanks for the Tuesday morning chuckle!!

  • Reply megan January 26, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    Ok, I am just impressed by the friday night exercise, not thinking you are embarassing. It's a way funny story–glad they found it!
    But what's this about another ipod?

  • Reply Packrat January 26, 2010 at 3:01 pm

    LOL funny. I'm glad your iPod was found. You went to the gym on Friday night? Good for you.

  • Reply Nicole January 26, 2010 at 3:48 pm

    That is one of the funniest, most embarrassing stories ever! Even funnier than the time I left my keys in the treadmill and someone took them to the front desk and they lost them. I got to hang around the gym for an hour waiting for the gym people to find them.

  • Reply Jess January 26, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    Wow! So glad they found it. I think it's time to invest in an iPod armband.

    Also, I go to the gym on Friday nights all the time. I love how empty it is.

  • Reply Elizabeth January 26, 2010 at 4:14 pm

    I love that story.
    I can't believe they found it!
    I have a piece of velcro on the back of my IPOD and a piece of velcro on my treadmill because otherwise I have the problem. Velcro is a clutzes best friend.

  • Reply Katie Rich January 26, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    Sad story! I was at the BYU gym the other day using their very crappy treadmills and had the same fear after I embarrassingly dropped my water bottle and had to go retrieve it. I am glad that you got it back

  • Reply RA January 26, 2010 at 4:26 pm

    That is a dedicated gym staff person! Do they have a tip jar? šŸ™‚

  • Reply Janelle January 26, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    I keep mine in my bra when I run… it does make it a little awkward to start/stop/change tracks though. But then again, I've never launched it anywhere. šŸ™‚

  • Reply Lexilooo January 26, 2010 at 4:57 pm

    wow, I am amazed by this! too funny! oh, and I would totally do something like that too!

  • Reply Shelly January 26, 2010 at 6:37 pm

    You poor soul. I would totally do something like that. I get embarrassed because I have to hold on to the rails on the treadmill or I will fall off!

  • Reply Peaceful Reader January 26, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    Thank you for the great story! Good thing you are taking the beat-up i-pod to the gym-it is getting a workout as well!

  • Reply Rachel January 26, 2010 at 7:46 pm

    Reminds me of the time Jeremy lost his wedding band in the sand during a volleyball game on our HONEYMOON. All the poor fools who were looking forward to a fun game of volley ball on the beach in Jamaica instead spent their time on their hands and knees looking for a wedding band. (It was finally found with the security metal detector btw).

    AND I need your number in addition to Bart's so we can take care of your lonely fridays and you can party with *ahem* fun people that go to bed at 10.

    and how the heck did your ipod get there??

  • Reply Bethany January 26, 2010 at 10:09 pm

    Yesterday I was on the eliptical and and bent sideways to look at the floor and the moving handle-thingies womped me one head. In front of SIX rows of people.

    The gym may be good for your heath, but it's hazardous to your pride.

    P.S. Can I send you my book sometime and get your opinion??? Yours' seems to matter.

  • Reply Jen Robinson January 26, 2010 at 10:58 pm

    It may bring humiliation and heartache. But by writing about it, you bring your friends laughter. So that's worth something!!

  • Reply emandtrev January 26, 2010 at 11:14 pm

    Oh gosh. I think we've all been there (well, I have anyway, with both the Friday night trips and embarrassing gym moments). I am so glad they found your iPod. What are the odds it would wind up where it did?!

  • Reply Angela Noelle January 26, 2010 at 11:58 pm

    You're right, we are the same person.

    This is the sort of thing that would most certainly happen to me; play by play.

  • Reply Ari January 27, 2010 at 2:40 am

    oh my goodness, that is so funny. what a relief that it was found!

  • Reply jayniemoon January 27, 2010 at 3:09 am

    Can you make that moral extend to 7 days a week?

    What an awesome story Janssen!

  • Reply heidikins January 27, 2010 at 4:56 am

    Um, you've got skillz. Obviously. ;o)

    xox

  • Reply Jenny January 27, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    iTRIUMPH!
    (in the end)

  • Reply fluentbrittish January 27, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    Bummer. I thought going to the gym on a Friday night sounded exhilarating.

  • Reply Melissa January 27, 2010 at 9:23 pm

    I'm just impressed you go to the gym. Great story!

  • Reply Rachel January 28, 2010 at 3:54 am

    Oh my gosh, so funny. I love a good embarrassing gym story

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