I love having people over to my house.
We’ve had times and seasons of our lives where we hosted parties pretty much non-stop and others where our get-together were much more limited.
For instance, in the ten and a half months we lived in North Carolina during Bart’s first year of his MBA, we were basically party hosting machines.
We had dozens of people over for dinner, hosted a couple of team brunches, threw several birthday parties, had both sets of parents visit for the weekend, and had all sorts of get-togethers like our couples book club, a diaper baby shower, Pi Day, and our s’mores farewell party.
At other points, like the first year or two we lived in Arizona, we did much less party hosting, as we got in to the groove of having children in school and making new friends here.
But no matter what our circumstances have been, we’ve always felt like having people over was a priority to us.
It’s definitely not like I have the nicest house (most of my furniture is IKEA, Goodwill or IKEA FROM Goodwill) or the best yard or am the greatest cook of all time.
We had a boatload of parties in our little, filthy-carpeted apartment in Texas, squeezing in up to 30 people into our tiny living area.
I am also 100% certain I am not the most fun person you know.
In fact, I’m probably one of the least fun people you know. My idea of a good time is reading a book in bed with a bowl of ice cream. (Happily, I married someone way more fun than me, so he can be charming while I make cookies).
But despite all that, I feel like Bart and I have really gotten a good system down for having people over, whether it’s to host a party or just having dinner guests, where it’s low-stress for both of us, and we’re still speaking to each other by the time people arrive.
Here are the things that I’ve learned are most important when you host a party (or any kind of gathering!):
- Just Invite People Over. Your house might not be perfect. You might not have enough chairs for everyone. Your bathroom might be ugly or boring or involve a toilet that has that have the handle jiggled juuuuust so to work. I guarantee you that 99% of people enjoy being invited to something with people they like and don’t care about what your house looks like or if they have to sit in a kitchen chair or on the floor (and if they do care, well, who wants to invite them over anyway?).
- Don’t Make it So Complicated You Never Do It Again. Order takeout for dinner. Use Evite to send your party invitations. Don’t bother mopping the floor. Whatever it is that makes it less stressful for you to host a party, feel free to do it. I pretty much promise no one else will notice.
- Food. Virtually everyone likes food. No matter what kind of party you’re hosting (unless it’s a, you know, hunger strike), include some food. Even if it’s just a bag of chips in a bowl. Or in the bag. I love chips in a bag.
- Do one thing well, and cut yourself slack on everything else. I know every Pinterest party has one trillion amazing details. Who cares? I usually pick one thing to focus on, whether it’s food (like at our s’mores party), decorations (like at the Pampers party), or activities (like the Mission Impossible party). And then make everything else easy (big activity? easy food. Serious decorations? No activities). Don’t kill yourself trying to make everything amazing.
- Use Paper Products. The environmentalist in me cringes, and
Pinterest users everywhere probably are gasping in horror, but when the
entire party is cleaned up five minutes after the last guest leaves? I
feel happy that we decided to host a party. Plus, there are so many pretty paper products available.
- Focus on the Big Impact Items. No one is looking at your baseboards. I prioritize vacuuming and cleaning the bathroom (aka making Bart clean the bathroom), because those are the most noticeable, and then I don’t worry about the rest of the cleaning much at all when we host a party. I do one or two great food items, and then fill in with low-key items (water, chips and dip, fruit, etc). You’ll never have the time or money or energy to do every single thing, so don’t waste it on the the things no one notices.
- A Few Small Details Make a Big Difference when you’re hosting a party at home. Some cute paper straws, a bouquet of flowers, or some balloons go a long way and are all inexpensive (hello, clearance floral at Kroger), plus it looks like you went to some effort to be a good party host.
- Crank up the AC. This is one of the goofiest party hosting tips but there is nothing worse than realizing you’re slowly melting into the carpet at a party. We always turn our AC down about four degrees lower than normal. In the winter, we often crack a window or two to keep it from feeling like an oven.
- Invite the Right People. We’ve learned not to invite everyone we know to a single party – this was a hosting tip we learned through trial and error for sure! Bart and I hate being personally responsible for making sure everyone has someone to talk to. And if you have quiet friends who don’t like competition, maybe they aren’t the right ones to invite to Minute to Win It. Save their names for a dinner party instead.
- Let Other People Help when you host a party. If people offer to bring a side dish or to arrive with a large stack of paper plates, take them up on it. You might feel like you’re failing How to be a Good Party Host 101 but when it’s three minutes until arrival, you’ll be glad to have time to vacuum rather than frantically chopping tomatoes for a salad. And people like to feel useful.
- Set Expectations. I hate going to a “party” that ends up being a bunch of people sitting around talking. Likewise, I don’t like arriving at what I think will be a quiet night talking to friends, only to find out I’ll be expected to put on a costume and make up an interpretive dance to a Disney song. Make it clear what’s going to take place at the party.
- Account for Children. If you’re going to have kids around, make sure there is somewhere for them to sit (you DON’T want them balancing a bowl of soup on their laps) or that there are activities for them. If you don’t want kids to attend, make that clear in the invitation. I feel like a jerk when I put that in invitations, but I’d rather that then be annoyed when people show up with their children or when I show up at a party with my child, only to discover I should have gotten a babysitter.
- Remember that People Just Like to Be Together. A few years ago, Ralphie hosted a Christmas Movie Girls’ Night. There was hot chocolate and popcorn and everyone came in their pajamas and we were going to watch some classic Christmas movie. But then everyone got talking and visiting and it was clear no one really wanted to stop chatting to watch the movie, and Ralphie just let it slide. Everyone stayed until one a.m. talking and the movie was never turned on. Similarly, my ideal baby shower is one with zero dumb games. I don’t need to guess the name of various animal babies nor do I need to stick my face in a diaper with a melted candy bar. I feel like too often, the activities get in the way of people having a good time. Feel free to skip them! (Unless it’s a themed party where the activity is the whole point, we almost never have games or activities).
- Do Something Out of the Ordinary. An ugly sweater party? (PASS! I know it’s so unhip of me to hate on ugly sweater parties, but seriously. I loathe them). Everyone is having Christmas parties and it’s just another thing to squeeze in. I love having a Pi Day party because meeting on a weeknight to gorge on pie is just so outside the normal routine of regular life. A Friday morning where you get a bunch of food and free diapers? Definitely exciting (at least to people like me. . . ). Don’t feel like you need a big holiday or reason to have a party. I think it’s extra fun to have an event when there’s no real reason for it.
- Put the Food where You Want People to Be. If you put the food in the kitchen, EVERYONE WILL BE IN THE KITCHEN. My Grannie, who is the world’s best hostess, always puts the appetizers in the living room so people will gather there when she’s hosting a party at home. And I think she’s brilliant.
- Once People Arrive, Just Enjoy the Party. In my book, this is the cardinal rule for how to be a good party host. Don’t apologize about the lack of decorations or mention that you MEANT to have three desserts, but only had time for two, or point out that your floor could have used a sweeping or five. No one wants to feel like the party or dinner or event is stressing you out. Make people feel like you’re glad to have them there.