I don’t get a lot of mean comments on my blog, mostly because I just don’t have a big enough blog to attract a lot of haters.
And yet, when, on very rare occasion, I get some rude or mean comment, I have to admit, it kind of makes my day. They’re generally just so ridiculous and silly.
Also, they make me feel like a great and powerful blogger; the post I tapped out between classes on my slow little iBook forced someone to tell me what an idiot I am. And to tell me so with the help of many an exclamation point.
I amuse myself by reading the comments aloud to Bart, emphasizing certain words to make them sound as crazy as possible, and I generally add a little commentary. I mean, why not?
Like this charmer on my Santa post:
Wow Jansen [ah, yes, spell my name wrong, right off the bat. I know you are serious now]. For someone who proclaims to be educated how could you have not heard about St. Nicholas? [right, because choosing not to participate in something is the same as never having heard of it. Much like I have never heard of eggs because I choose not to eat them].
Is there really a fat man that drops down chimneys and leave toys?
No, however it is what he represents.
So because that is History you forgot to read I’ll tell you about it…[a quick look at Google lets me know that it’s more like “let the St. Nicholas Center tell us about it” but let us not quibble on details.]
The true story of Santa Claus begins with Nicholas, who was born during the third century in the village of Patara. At the time the area was Greek and is now on the southern coast of Turkey. His wealthy parents, who raised him to be a devout Christian, died in an epidemic while Nicholas was still young. Obeying Jesus’ words to “sell what you own and give the money to the poor,” Nicholas used his whole inheritance to assist the needy, the sick, and the suffering. He dedicated his life to serving God and was made Bishop of Myra while still a young man. Bishop Nicholas became known throughout the land for his generosity to the those in need, his love for children, and his concern for sailors and ships.
We teach our kids about our Saviors birth and how a man named st. Nicholas put it into practice and that is how we get Santa. [Oh, I have so many things to say here, but they all come off sounding a little unintentionally sacrilegious, so I shall have to refrain. Just rest assured that they are very very witty].
I think that is pretty much it. You can believe in a great example of Christs love for others or you can be a HATER!!! [Ooooh, I choose “HATER!!!” Obviously].
I’m sorry, but I can’t even read that comment again without cracking up. It’s just so awesomely bad. Also, it conforms to the standards set by the International Federation of Anonymous Troll-y Comments by lacking pretty much any adherence to those rules of grammar that we “proclaim to be educated” folks are always rattling uselessly on about. In fact, that was the main reason I immediately Googled the blurb about St. Nick’s background – it had legitimate capitalization and punctuation and so was standing out like a well-punctuated sore thumb.
I won’t delete the comment, of course, because I need it around to make me laugh when school gets stressful. In fact, the only comments I’ve ever deleted are duplicates or ads disgused as comments saying my post is awesome and also come check out these free! new! products! Now!
So, comment away, anonymous friends. Odds are good that your comment will live on in infamy. Odds are also good that I’ll forward it along to all my friends. But, please, don’t let that deter you.