I’m a HATER!!!!

January 21, 2009

I don’t get a lot of mean comments on my blog, mostly because I just don’t have a big enough blog to attract a lot of haters.

And yet, when, on very rare occasion, I get some rude or mean comment, I have to admit, it kind of makes my day. They’re generally just so ridiculous and silly.

Also, they make me feel like a great and powerful blogger; the post I tapped out between classes on my slow little iBook forced someone to tell me what an idiot I am. And to tell me so with the help of many an exclamation point.

I amuse myself by reading the comments aloud to Bart, emphasizing certain words to make them sound as crazy as possible, and I generally add a little commentary. I mean, why not?

Like this charmer on my Santa post:

Wow Jansen [ah, yes, spell my name wrong, right off the bat. I know you are serious now]. For someone who proclaims to be educated how could you have not heard about St. Nicholas? [right, because choosing not to participate in something is the same as never having heard of it. Much like I have never heard of eggs because I choose not to eat them].
Is there really a fat man that drops down chimneys and leave toys?
No, however it is what he represents.
So because that is History you forgot to read I’ll tell you about it…[a quick look at Google lets me know that it’s more like “let the St. Nicholas Center tell us about it” but let us not quibble on details.]
The true story of Santa Claus begins with Nicholas, who was born during the third century in the village of Patara. At the time the area was Greek and is now on the southern coast of Turkey. His wealthy parents, who raised him to be a devout Christian, died in an epidemic while Nicholas was still young. Obeying Jesus’ words to “sell what you own and give the money to the poor,” Nicholas used his whole inheritance to assist the needy, the sick, and the suffering. He dedicated his life to serving God and was made Bishop of Myra while still a young man. Bishop Nicholas became known throughout the land for his generosity to the those in need, his love for children, and his concern for sailors and ships.

We teach our kids about our Saviors birth and how a man named st. Nicholas put it into practice and that is how we get Santa. [Oh, I have so many things to say here, but they all come off sounding a little unintentionally sacrilegious, so I shall have to refrain. Just rest assured that they are very very witty].

I think that is pretty much it. You can believe in a great example of Christs love for others or you can be a HATER!!! [Ooooh, I choose “HATER!!!” Obviously].

I’m sorry, but I can’t even read that comment again without cracking up. It’s just so awesomely bad. Also, it conforms to the standards set by the International Federation of Anonymous Troll-y Comments by lacking pretty much any adherence to those rules of grammar that we “proclaim to be educated” folks are always rattling uselessly on about. In fact, that was the main reason I immediately Googled the blurb about St. Nick’s background – it had legitimate capitalization and punctuation and so was standing out like a well-punctuated sore thumb.

I won’t delete the comment, of course, because I need it around to make me laugh when school gets stressful. In fact, the only comments I’ve ever deleted are duplicates or ads disgused as comments saying my post is awesome and also come check out these free! new! products! Now!

So, comment away, anonymous friends. Odds are good that your comment will live on in infamy. Odds are also good that I’ll forward it along to all my friends. But, please, don’t let that deter you.

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  • Reply Lara January 21, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    Ha! I think my favorite part is “because that is History you forgot to read”.

  • Reply Operation Pink Herring January 21, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    I can hardly believe that anyone says anything mean to you! That comment is spectacular… I also have so, so much to say about his/her proclamation that Santa is a good example of Christ’s love but I am too busy writing educated letters to the elves at the North Pole detailing all the loot I want for next year.

  • Reply Packrat January 21, 2009 at 3:09 pm

    The comments from that person don’t even make a whole lot of sense.

    On occasion I have disagreed with you and even a couple of times I have been “down right” irritated, but I hope never, ever mean. (Chalk it up to experience and age difference. I don’t ever intend to sound condescending, either. Sometimes it is difficult for me to write in words what I am trying to get across.)

    Just some questions that I have about blogging. (I’m not criticizing or crabbing; I’m just asking.) What is your point of blogging? Do you want everyone to agree with you, or do you want a little lively conversation once in a while (as long as it isn’t mean spirited)? Who do you want looking at your blog? I think this would make a really good blog post.

  • Reply Saskia January 21, 2009 at 3:14 pm

    Wow. Glad you’re able just let it slide…

    As a Dutch person who celebrates St Nicolas every single year, I don’t think that person really got the point of what we do on December 5th and the “relationship” with Christ..

  • Reply Lenore January 21, 2009 at 3:14 pm

    Oh man. I’ve never ever gotten a hater comment. Guess I am not contraversial enough.

  • Reply LeAnne January 21, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    Wow. I’ve never gotten any hater comments either. Oh and I agree that spelling your name wrong was not the way to start that comment if he/she wanted it to be at all valid.

  • Reply Holly and Brad January 21, 2009 at 3:22 pm

    I can’t believe you are just now addressing this. I was wondering when you would say something 😉

  • Reply RA January 21, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    Sometimes, comments come off meaner than they intend, so I try to be The Bigger Person and not immediately fly into sarcasm mode. One time, I had a post about different grammar/usage errors wherein I strongly stated that an acronym is only such that is pronounced as a separate word (like SCUBA, but not FBI), and someone asked, “Did someone pee in your Wheaties?” Um, no someone did not do that. I am just RIGHT.

    However, after reading that comment, I have to wonder why there is so much hate against the poor apostrophe! It has its share of abuse without being utterly neglected!

  • Reply Lisa January 21, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    You HATER!

    The only nasty comments I’ve ever gotten were on my Twilight review. I’m apparently gay and don’t know good literature. Makes me wonder what kind of comments the people who actually DISLIKED it got!

  • Reply Moose January 21, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    I always wonder about the brain chemistry of the person who would leave a comment like that.

    And I agree, the best part of having an under-the-radar blog? Very few mean people. The world is mostly full of nice, sane folk – that’s the conclusion I draw.

  • Reply RA January 21, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    Ugh. And because I can’t just let it lie, I would like to put a retroactive comma after “no” in my comment.

  • Reply Noelle January 21, 2009 at 3:38 pm

    That was a great post; it made my day 🙂 I’m glad you can laugh about it too. Now I’ll always think of you as a hater Jansen. 🙂 *just kiddin on the whole spelling thing…I know better.

  • Reply emily January 21, 2009 at 4:24 pm

    Don’t even give them the satisfaction of attention for their lame comments! I hate mean commenters. Get a life!

    For the record though, I totally disagree with you about Santa. But we can still be friends, right? 🙂

  • Reply craftyashley January 21, 2009 at 4:25 pm

    You know you have a popular blog when you get mean comments. Just like if your kids never say they hate you, you’re not a good parent. LOL

  • Reply Kristy January 21, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    Heehee! You’d think people would proofread before they criticized. Or maybe had a thought or two before they wrote like that. That would be awesome.

  • Reply Katie January 21, 2009 at 4:36 pm

    Why do people waste their time and energy leaving mean comments?

    Although, to be fair, that’s hardly even mean compared to the doozies that I get sometimes.

  • Reply Samantha J. January 21, 2009 at 5:24 pm

    Can’t wait to see if they read this post…

  • Reply Jeanelle January 21, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    I love that you’re not the least bit bothered by being called a hater but I’m irritated FOR you that Anonymous couldn’t spell your name correctly. We with the uniquely spelled names have to stick together!

  • Reply Ashley January 21, 2009 at 6:24 pm

    Yes, you are a hater, but for good news…Lost starts tonight! Tara and I are having a party (yes, party meaning just the two of us), wish you could be here to enjoy the goodness with us!

  • Reply Jenna January 21, 2009 at 8:43 pm

    That post made me SOOO happy. I guess I had never really thought that it would be possible to raise kids and be honest with them about Santa in the soceity we live in, but your post pointed me to all KINDS of posts that talked about that very thing. I started wishing I had a kid JUST SO I COULD RUIN IT FOR HIM. Well not ruin it, but you know what I mean. So I’m a hater too.

  • Reply Lacie & Ryan January 21, 2009 at 8:58 pm

    Wow, you are a hater (said in very sarcastic tone here) ha! That is a fun comment! Keep ‘stirring the pot’ Janssen!

  • Reply Angella January 21, 2009 at 9:18 pm


    Trolls are idiots. Seriously. It’s like the stupid people of the world procreated and made super-stupid people.

  • Reply Douglas Carl January 21, 2009 at 11:16 pm

    Janssen, I kind of liked his little story. I’ve heard it before but enjoyed reading it. Being called a hater isn’t too serious. I’ve been called way worse than that by various friends, church leaders and relatives over the years, some kidding and some not. And, some of them had a good point.

    Have you and Bart seen “Gran Torino” yet? There is some interesting banter between him and his barber that made me laugh my head off. I walked into my barber the other day and said, “how you doing you chubby Mormon bastard?”

    Unfortunately, he hadn’t seen the movie and was a bit flummoxed.

    Also, as you know, other people’s opinions of you, whether positive or negative, are actually meaningless because their limited view of you coming from their limited world view and experience is nothing.

    So, enjoy getting these little replies and focus on the personality and probable world view of the person who makes them, more as a psychological curiosity versus anything you take personally. It’s fun sport.

  • Reply chelon:) January 22, 2009 at 1:44 am

    pure entertainment!!

  • Reply Adele January 22, 2009 at 1:48 am

    I think I envy you your troll. I want one! lol

  • Reply Sherry January 22, 2009 at 1:59 am

    I think you’re a hater, and also I hate you. And I hate all of your opinions. And instead of politely saying that I disagree I am going to say that you are stupid. And you shouldn’t make fun of the way ppl tipe b/c sum ppl dont no better and good grammer isnt important anywayz.

    Oh my gosh! I want to die from typing that sentence. I hope you always write posts about your hater comments.

  • Reply Anonymous January 22, 2009 at 2:09 am

    Thanks for the honor and recognition of having my own post.

    For someone who says they are over it you sure spent allot of time dissecting my comment.

    Peace, Love, and Happiness
    Anonymous Reader

  • Reply Katie Rich January 22, 2009 at 2:14 am

    So funny!

    As we both came out of the BYU History Department, I will write a letter on behalf of us both to request that they institute a mandatory class on the history of St. Nicholas. In fact, I will write the religion department as well. No longer shall there be so incredibly ignorant college graduates!

  • Reply Science Teacher Mommy January 22, 2009 at 3:00 am

    Hee. Hee. You suck so anonymous came back. Lovin’ it. “Troll-y” might be my word of the week. I’ll let you know how it goes if I’m able to work it into a conversation. With three little boys it shouldn’t be hard. (Like, “Don’t pass gas at the dinner table, that is really troll-y.”)

  • Reply Science Teacher Mommy January 22, 2009 at 3:01 am

    PS I’ve had two hater comments: one because I sort of left one. I missed the snarkiness in a post and thought we were having a sort of discussion, not just a bash-the-skinny-people-thing. The other came from my BIL. But that is understandable: he thinks I’m a communist.

  • Reply Tammy January 22, 2009 at 3:41 am

    I now know how to ruffle your feathers.
    Just disagree with you…

  • Reply Ben and Summer January 22, 2009 at 8:05 am

    Well, the fact that Anonymous is still reading your blog and leaving comments must mean that he/she wasn’t totally turned off by the now infamous Santa Post:) Wow, this post was great. It’s so refreshing to see you take a humorous take on this! It reminds me not to fly off the handle at stuff – it’s so much less stressful to laugh about it! It also reminds me SO MUCH of Eric D. Snider. Since you went to BYU you might have heard of him? Have you ever read his stuff, specifically his commentary on the nasty letters sent to him? Hilarious.

  • Reply Whitney January 22, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    Ha ha ha. I don’t know why people leave mean comments 🙁 The thought never even crosses my mind, because, well, I’m just not a mean person.

  • Reply Carolyn January 22, 2009 at 9:21 pm

    Just stumbled onto your blog and LOVE that you wrote this post. I wish that i could handle negative comments as well as you do!!

  • Reply cipriano January 23, 2009 at 2:27 am

    What a bonehead that commenter was.
    But, as Carolyn says here, it is so good that you don’t get upset over getting comments from St. Prick!

  • Reply Kristi January 24, 2009 at 3:38 pm

    I don’t tolerate mean comments as well; they make me want to shut down the blogs operation. In my opinion if someone has something rude to say, they can/should just stop reading the blog…if it stirs anger in them why would they want more of that? Plus, it’s one thing to disagree, comment, discuss and a totally different thing to bash and accuse. Sounds kind of like they might be on the hater team : (

  • Reply Becca January 24, 2009 at 5:45 pm


    I think I could start a blog on all the interesting/incredibly tasteless comments I get 🙂

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