About two weeks after we arrived in Boston, Kristi asked me if I was homesick for Texas.
I thought, no, of course not. I’m totally settling into the groove here and Texas is nothing but a happy memory now. I was busy with work, the weather was lovely, there were plenty of things to do. No, homesickness was for wimps.
But now, nine weeks after moving, I’m missing Texas.
I know it’s not fair to compare the city you leave behind – somewhere familiar and full of friends – with a new city that is still unknown and a bit lonely. I know, I remember, having some of these same sad lonely feelings when we moved to Texas, feeling like it would never feel like home.
I know that there is a tendency to make the place you’ve left an absolute paradise in your mind, because you aren’t there anymore, forgetting everything you didn’t love about a place (don’t you worry, Bart has not even begun to forget the fire ants).
We were watching the pilot episode of Friday Night Lights recently (yeah, yeah, I know it came out years ago) and there was a shot of the main street. I made Bart pause it, and sure enough, it was the main street of our little city just outside of Austin. There was the church that we went to caucus at last fall. There was the water tower with the donut shop underneath. There was the sidewalk I biked up and down dozens and dozens of times two summers ago on my way to and from work.
I loved Texas. I think Bart was a little shocked by how wholeheartedly I embraced Texas.
I loved the weather, I loved the Texas pride. I loved our little house – the first place we ever owned, I loved HEB (oh you know how I loved HEB), I loved the University of Texas, I loved our many, many, many good friends. I loved the airport (if you’ve ever been in the Austin airport, you should know what I’m talking about). I loved the cheap and direct flights into Las Vegas (with the two hour time difference, we could get in only an hour after departing). I loved the little local library.
I know that it just takes time. That eventually we’ll have good friends here, that I won’t feel like I have no one to call or to hang out with. That someday if we leave Boston, I’ll feel the same crushing sense of loss to be leaving a place I love.
But today is not that someday. Today, Texas is still my home, and I’m homesick.